Warmth From The Sun
by SangoSan195
Summary: It only takes a moment for everything to change, both Oz and Gil knew that all too well, the only question being; will the change occur for better or for worse. And this time, for Gil, forsaking his own feelings might not be enough to keep away the cold.
1. Chapter 1

Oz was bored, so very bored.

Alice had eaten her fill and was now sleeping it off, which meant she wouldn't be waking until it was time to eat again.

Break and Sharon were doing what they usually did, drinking tea and talking on the balcony, and in Break's case, drinking tea and talking through a mouthful of cake.

And Gil. Gil was in his room.

Boring.

Oz decided that he was going to make Gil play with him, he got up from the couch he had previously occupied for the last hour and went to find Gil.

**-XXX-**

It didn't take long.

Before entering Gil's room, Oz pressed his ear against the door, he couldn't hear anything except a light breathing, at least that meant that Gil was in there. He didn't even bother to knock before he burst through the door and promptly spying Gil on his bed, ran up and tackled the man.

It seemed Gil had been sleeping before Oz's intrusion. Having a, however small, person jump full force onto you was certainly the rudest awakening Gil had ever had in his life.

Gil came awake with a shout, his eyes shot open and he found himself staring down at a mop of blonde hair and laughter rang in his ears.

"Gil~." Gil dropped his head back on to the bed with a loud sigh, closing his eyes again.

"What are you doing Oz?" He asked.

Oz giggled in response, he propped himself up on his elbows, resting his chin on his hands as he smiled down at Gil.

"Gil~, I'm bored." He said in a sing song voice.

Gil cracked open one eye to peer at Oz, who was smiling in an almost sickly sweet manner. Gil had a bad feeling settle in the pit of his stomach, whenever Oz had been bored when they'd both been children, it had never seemed to end well for the servant boy.

Oz…was bored. Oh dear.

"And what do you want me to do a-" Gil's sentence broke off as Oz shifted slightly on top of him, elbows digging into his ribs.

For the first time Gil realized the incomparable position they were in.

They were alone, in his room, on his bed, and Oz was on top of him.

_On…top of…_

Gil felt himself turn bright red and almost immediately their proximity seemed way too close, he'd never been uncomfortable being close to Oz before, but this time something was different.

"O-Oz…I-I…y-you…" Gil couldn't get his mouth to work.

Oz shifted again, this time he moved up Gil's body, his face closer than ever. His skin suddenly felt incredibly hot, and Oz's constant shifting wasn't helping a bit.

"I said I'm bored, Gil~." Oz said playfully.

_So close…Oz is…_

Oz was beginning to get impatient, he wanted Gil to play with him, and this was going nowhere. Although Oz was enjoying Gil's embarrassment, despite being oblivious as to why. It made him remember when they were younger, Gil was always blushing and tripping over his words, it had always made Oz smile.

That memory made Oz remember something else.

Suddenly Oz slipped off of Gil, grabbing his hat off the nightstand beside the bed and bolting from the room. At first Gil didn't recognize the feeling that washed over him as soon as Oz had left him, but that only lasted a moment when he realized what had happened.

_That little…_

Gil jumped off the bed and raced after Oz. It wasn't hard to track the boy as his loud laughter echoed through the halls, Gil was also fortunate in that his legs were a lot longer than Oz's so he was able to catch up quite easily. However, Oz was a lot more agile than Gil was, and was therefore able to slip around corners and obstacles with little trouble.

"You better give that back Oz, or you're gonna be in so much trouble when I catch you!" He shouted.

Oz threw back his head and laughed, a sound that warmed Gil's entire being.

"Gil's never been able to catch me yet, so that's a pretty big if!" Oz shouted back.

Gil smiled, that was a challenge if he'd ever heard one. His ten year long conditioning to be a lethal killer kicked in, his movements became sharper, nothing was wasteful. The art of pursuit had been drilled into him quite early, so this was all completely natural to him now.

The chase moved outside when Oz decided that an open window could provide him with a substantial lead. However, Gil followed, unlike Oz's clumsy climb out the window, Gil simply dived out and landed in a roll, coming to his feet almost immediately.

When Oz saw this, he realized that Gil may finally catch him after all. He smiled, he still had one ace up his sleeve.

Oz suddenly stopped running, he spun on his heel and threw his entire weight into Gil. The older man was unable to react in time and both went tumbling to the ground, they rolled together over a shot distance before coming to a stop, with Oz coming out on top.

Just like when they were kids.

Both were out of breath by this point and the first minute was spent attempting to get enough air back into their lungs.

"I finally caught you." Gil breathed.

Oz laughed, not completely oblivious to the fact that he was currently straddling his servant, his hands pressed down on the man's shoulders."Hah, you wish, I _let you_ catch me" Oz said between panting.

This time it was Gil that laughed.

"Careful Young Master, your ego is showing." Gil smiled.

Oz gave a half smile, half smirk. Gil remembered when Oz used to try and wrestle with him, Gil had never had any talent for it because he had nothing to oppose Oz with, he was the weaker one, more importantly, he was the servant, he was only supposed to act according to his masters wishes. Ultimately, the victory belonged to Oz, always.

Suddenly Gil rolled them over, something he'd never done before, mostly because he'd never been able to do so. Oz looked incredibly surprised by Gil's actions. He made a small attempt to turn them over, but found that he was no longer the superior strength. Part of Oz felt that this was wrong, he was the master, he was supposed to be in control. But another part of him, a deeper part, was sending out strange sensations to his entire body, but it was not entirely unpleasant was actually surprised by his own actions as well, he didn't understand the buzz that was spreading throughout his body, it felt…_intoxicating_.

Gil was broken from his reverie by Oz's touch on his arm."I…I forgot how…much bigger and strong…Gil is now." Oz said softly.

Gil's mind was a blur, Oz's hand was gently moving up and down and the feeling it was…

_No!_

Suddenly Gil's rationality kicked in and he leapt away from Oz with more speed than he'd ever moved with in his life.

Oz was left feeling confused and strangely cold, he sat up and looked at Gil questioningly. He had his back to Oz, the sudden distance left by his retreat made Oz feel strange. It felt like there was a heavy weight on his chest, it was painful.

"G-Gil?" He said with a slight waver in his voice.

He noticed the man's shoulders were shaking and his fists were clenched at his sides.

Was Gil…angry? Had he done something wrong? Perhaps said something that had upset the man?

The dark-haired man bent down, snatched his hat from where it had landed when they'd both fallen and shoved it on his head. Gil turned around and walked towards Oz, his head was down and his hat hid his face. The way he walked unnerved Oz, when he raised his hand, Oz thought for one terrifying second that Gil was going to hit him. He flinched, closing his eyes, waiting to be struck, but it never came. After a moment Oz opened his eyes and saw Gil pull down the brim of his hat even more with the hand Oz had thought was being raised against him. With his other hand, Gil reached down and grasped Oz by his shoulder, pulling him abruptly to his feet.

"Let's go back." Was all he said before walking away.

Oz had cringed at Gil's tone, it sounded like he had spoken through gritted teeth. He watched Gil's retreating form, subconsciously he reached up and grasped over his heart, twisting the material of his shirt.

_Hurts…it hurts…_

**-XXX-**

Gil had to slam his teeth together to suppress the scream that was rising in his throat. He couldn't get the image of Oz cowering before him out of his mind.

Oz had been afraid of him, Oz had thought that Gil was going to hit him. He couldn't believe it, Oz wasn't supposed to be afraid of him, he was there to make sure that nothing and no one ever frightened Oz again, he was there to protect Oz. He would never raise a hand against his master, never.

But Oz…Oz had believed that Gil would and _was_ _going to_ hit him.

Gil growled and raked his hands through his hair. Why? Why was this happening? Everything had been so good, he had Oz back, what had gone wrong?

Oz had been so close, he'd always dreamed of such proximity between himself and his master, so why? He thought of Oz's slow gentle strokes on his arm, they had sent a shiver up and down his spine.

So why? Why had he pulled away?

He'd longed for such affection for so long, so why?

It was because it was Oz.

Oz, who was so perfect in Gilbert's eyes, who had never done wrong, who had never taken a life, whose hands were small, soft and clean.

Oz was pure, untainted and innocent.

And Gil…was none of those things. He was dirty and his hands stained with the blood of many people, he was no longer the Gilbert that Oz knew, as much as the boy would deny Gil had changed, he had changed and for the worst.

He rested his head in his hands, his head was starting to hurt, but that couldn't compare to the pain in his heart.

He'd ruined everything.

He had survived ten years as Break's pawn in the Nightray household.

He'd trained until he dropped from exhaustion.

He'd sold his soul for the power to bring Oz back.

And in the end, it had only taken a moment of stupidity on his part to make it all for naught.

Gil didn't know if he could face Oz again after what had just transpired, but he knew he had to, if only for Oz's sake.


	2. Chapter 2

Oz sat silently in his room, he was sitting in the chair by the window, knees drawn against his chest, the drapes closed, blocking out any trace of the sunlight outside. The posture so familiar and yet different, he pulled his blanket tighter around himself. He had torn it from his bed in an effort to get warm, but he couldn't rid himself of this coldness that had taken root in his body.

_So cold…_

Oz desperately tried to clutch at what he'd done wrong, and why he was suddenly hurting so much.

Gil had been more upset that Oz had ever seen him, and the blonde knew that he'd been the cause, but he couldn't grasp as to how.

His failure, once again, to understand brought those all too familiar tears to his eyes, he wished he could erase the events of the past day, he wished everything could just return to normal, however loosely based their definition of normal was. Most of all, he wished for that warmth to return, that warmth he felt when he was with Gil. The warmth he'd experienced so briefly today, that was what he wanted.

The tears ran steadily down his cheeks, he shut his eyes, not wanting to see his empty room, not wanting the visual confirmation that he was alone.

_So cold…So…alone…  
_

Gil lay on his bed, one arm draped across his eyes.

Oz…

Gil couldn't get the boy out of his head, how he wished Oz would burst through his door again and tackle him like he had earlier.

Oz was hurting, he could feel it, he could feel it with his soul. His master was hurting, it was supposed to be Gil's job to make sure his master was always safe and happy, he had failed. He had torn apart his master's happiness with his own hands.

Gil sat up and stared at his hands, he almost never removed his gloves, except for the brief seconds he needed to release the stupid rabbit's powers. Whenever his gloves were off he could see the blood on them, no one else saw it but Gil always did, how he hated the colour red, he never could wash it from his skin. He would never say it out loud, but he always cherished those small seconds of contact he had with Oz, but whenever he thought about it, he hated himself with the realization he was touching Oz with hands that were no longer pure, instead they were tainted and had soaked in the blood of more people than Gilbert cared to remember.

His hands could not hold or simply touch, all they could do was hurt, destroy or take life. They could only do wrong, never right, never again.

Gilbert also realized another thing, sitting on his bed staring at his hands. While he was here, Oz was somewhere else, in pain and hurting.

Why? Why was he still here? Why wasn't he there…there taking away Oz's pain and unhappiness in any way he could?

It wasn't just because it was his duty as the servant, he wanted Oz to be happy, more than that he wanted Oz to smile…at him. He wanted that warmth, that feeling that warmed him when he knew Oz was smiling at him and not just in his direction.

Gil knew it now, he'd known it for a long time, but only now could he truly admit it to himself, because he needed something to grasp, to hold on to.

He loved his master, he loved Oz more dearly than his own life.

Gil stood and walked from the room. He would spare Oz's heart from the pain, he would protect it, watch over it, even if it meant sacrificing his own in the process.

Anything…anything to see his master smile again.

Oz didn't even raise his head when he heard the knock at his door. He didn't want to see anyone right now, anyone but Gil, but he doubted Gil wanted to see him right now.

"Oz?"

Oz's head shot up at the sound of Gil's voice, he almost thought he was hearing things. Determined not to do anything else to wrong his beloved servant, Oz climbed off of his chair and went to the door. He opened it slowly, looking up just the right amount to look the golden-eyed man directly in the face.

"Gil?"

Oz's heart clenched when he found no one standing there, perhaps he had been hearing things, but then he saw Gil walking back down the hallway. Acting purely on instinct, Oz bolted from the solitude of the doorway and reached out to grab Gil's sleeve, to keep him here. However, Oz misjudged his steps, tripping over his own feet, he fell to the floor with a loud thump. In fact, he had fully felt the impact as he had managed to land partially face first, pain shot up from his nose and tears sprang to his eyes.

Gil, hearing the hurried footsteps and the immediate fall following turned and rushed to Oz's side.

"Oz, are you alright?!" He asked urgently.

Oz accepted Gil's help as he went to sit up, when all of a sudden he tasted blood.

"Oz!" Gil cried in alarm.

His nose was bleeding, quite vigorously. Oz's hands went to his face and he covered his nose, trying to halt the blood flow, but it just ran through his fingers.

"W-were you looking for me?" Oz went to ignoring his throbbing face as he looked up at Gil.

Gil met his gaze and he saw the hope hidden in the emerald depths, he shook his head rapidly to clear his mind and put his hand over Oz's, guiding the boy to pinch his nose. Gil gently and hesitantly touched Oz's nose, earning a small pained hiss in response.

"We need to do something about your nose, I'll go get some ice, it'll stop the pain." Gil said as he stood up and went to walk away.

Oz shot out his arm and grabbed on to Gil's sleeve. The older man stopped and looked back down, as soon as Oz saw Gil looking at him, at the blood, Oz let go and averted his gaze to the floor.

He must have looked pathetic, sitting on the floor, blood covering the lower part of face, hands and the front of his clothes, and all from a nosebleed. He wanted to cry at the pitiful nature of it all. He didn't want to be seen like this, not by Gil.

Gil thought Oz was about to cry, it disturbed him to see his master covered in blood, especially his own. He turned back around and knelt in front of the blonde boy. He, as gentle as he could, slipped his hands under Oz's armpits and lifted him to his feet.

"Hey, I'll just be gone a moment to get something cold and something to clean you up, wait for me okay?" He said softly.

Oz, without raising his head, just nodded. Gil was worried at the lack of response, it sent a painful jolt through his heart, had he truly lost his master forever?

He forced himself to turn and walk back down the hallway, leaving Oz, temporarily, by himself once more.

Despite the warm blood that had soaked his front, Oz suddenly felt colder than ever. He could see that Gil was upset on the inside, it was in his eyes, and he was hiding it. He was being so kind while being so…it made Oz sink down against the wall.

His father was right not to want him, to despise his existence, Oz understood his feelings at least. He was a useless and worthless human being, only capable of hurting and being hurt.

He hated himself.

He wanted to die.

Gil walked quickly, getting the ice and gathering several cloths along with a bowl of clean water. He wanted to get back to Oz, he hated seeing his master in such a desperate and tortured state.

He was shocked to find Oz had not returned to his room, instead, he had sat down against the wall of the hallway. Gil juggled the objects in his hands as he stopped in front of Oz and knelt down. He placed them down and put a hand on Oz's shoulder. The boy's head shot up and his eyes burned into Gil like fire.

"Come on." Gil said with a forced smile.

Oz obediently followed Gil into his room. Gil placed the water and the cloths onto the small table in front of the lounge and indicated to Oz that he should sit. Oz walked over and dropped on to the lounge, not looking at Gil as he did so. When it was handed to him, he pressed the ice wrapped in cloth against his nose, the coldness burned against his skin.

Gil knelt in front of Oz, he soaked one of the cloths in the water before wringing it out and dabbing at Oz's face. Gently rubbing, removing the blood that had partially dried without applying too much pressure.

Once Gil was satisfied that his face was clean, he discarded the used cloth, it's once clean white surface now a subtle pink. Gil repeated his actions with the next cloth, this time cleaning Oz's hands.

Oz couldn't help but notice the tenderness with which Gil held his hand while softly rubbing at the blood that covered them. He didn't deserve such treatment, not from Gil, not from anyone.

It tore at Gil to see the blood on Oz's hands, it reminded him of his own hands too much, Oz's hands were pure, they should never resemble his. He also noticed how cold to the touch Oz's skin was, Gil could even feel it through his gloves, it felt like he'd been standing out in a snowstorm. Despite being cold, Oz's hands were still soft and delicate like he remembered from 10 years ago.

He felt slightly better when all the blood had been cleaned away, but he was still concerned about Oz.

Oz felt some of the warmth returning when Gil continued to hold on to his hands even after they were clean, Oz didn't want Gil to let go. When Gil stood up and released his hands, the abruptness of it hurt Oz on a physical level. It suddenly felt like his chest was being crushed, he couldn't even draw a breath, Oz screwed his eyes shut, he was suffocating.

"Oz?!"

Suddenly there were arms around him, holding him, warming him. He reached up and felt something warm grasp his hand, he squeezed it back with all his strength.

"Oz, Oz, what's wrong?!" It was Gil.

"G-Gil." Oz could only choke out his name in between gasps.

"I'll get help!" He felt Gil pulling away.

Oz frantically grasped at air until he managed to grab Gil's sleeve.

"G-Gil…I…d-don't…don't leave!" Oz managed to force out the words he wanted to say.

Gil was puzzled, he didn't know what to. His head was telling him to get help because he had no idea what was happening to Oz, but his heart was telling him that he couldn't leave, not after his master had actually asked him to stay.

In the end, it was his heart he followed. He didn't know what to do, Oz was obviously in pain and Gil didn't know how to stop it.

"Oz, w-what can I do?" He asked.

He hated seeing Oz like this, gasping for air as if he were being strangled, he felt like a failure as a friend and a servant. Oz seemed like he was trying to say something, Gil leaned in closer so he could hear, Oz fell against him and Gil felt his heart stop.

"Just stay…please." Oz whispered against Gil's chest.

Gil stopped breathing, and smiled a gentle smile. He nodded and nervously placed his arms around the boy, Oz actually leaned into the embrace.

"You're so cold Oz, you better not be getting sick on me." Gil chuckled.

He felt Oz's breathing even out from the desperate gasps to gentle wisps, the small shoulders relax and loosen, the warmth returning.

Oz could feel the pain fading away, the sadness, the anxiety, the world, everything was melting away. Everything except the warmth, the warmth he'd longed for, always wanted for.

This calm gave Oz a reason to think, he'd lost the warmth so easily when he thought he'd lost Gil, and now it was being returned because of Gil.

Oz had never really given thought as to Gil's place in his life since returning from the Abyss, just his servant no longer seemed enough, but Gil had never just been a servant had he? Servants didn't hold their masters, servants didn't cry over their master's wellbeing, servants didn't spend ten years of their life training to rescue their masters from the Abyss, but Gil did.

Why did Gil make him feel so safe? Why could he only feel this warmth when he knew that Gil was nearby? Why had his world fallen apart at the thought of losing Gil's favour? Why?

What were his true feelings in regards to Gil?

I can hear Gil's heart beating…

Oz lifted his hand and placed it against the older man's chest, he could feel the gentle rhythm against his palm. It was funny, Gil's heart was so near, but Oz couldn't touch it.

"Oz, you should get some rest," Gil said.

Oz shook his head slowly, he didn't want to rest, he just wanted everything to stay as it was at that moment.

"Does your nose still hurt?" Gil's voice was filled with concern.

"Just a little." He replied, he was lying, his nose actually hurt a lot.

Gil was trying to gather his thoughts, but it was difficult when Oz was so close, when the boy had his small hand on Gil's chest. He wanted to run, but he couldn't, he couldn't risk hurting Oz again. As much as it hurt, he would forsake his feelings to ensure Oz's happiness.

"Gil…I'm sorry." Oz said suddenly.

The older man couldn't have been more surprised if he'd been slapped in the face. What did Oz have to apologise for?

"What for Oz?" He asked incredulously.

He felt the small body in his arms begin to shake, the gentle breaths hitching.

"For upsetting y-you earlier, I'm sorry if I-I said or did s-something you didn't like Gil, please, p-please don't be angry at me." Oz's voice breaking as his shaking increased.

Gil gently pushed Oz away and lifted his face with one hand, his eyes widened when he saw the tears running down Oz's face. Oz dropped his head again, fisting his hands in the material of Gil's shirt, apologising again and again.

"Oz, I'm not angry, I…I could never be angry at you, you haven't done anything wrong," Gil said as he wrapped one arm around Oz's trembling form. "I'm the one who should be sorry."

Oz's head shot up, his green eyes wide.

"No, Gil didn't do anything!" Oz cried.

Gil shook his head sadly, with his free hand he reached up and brushed away a tear with his thumb.

"You're doing it again, you're blaming yourself."

Oz visibly blushed.

"But…but you are too, you used to do it _all_ the time!" Oz practically shouted, but still the slightest of quivers in his voice.

More tears flowed.

"No Oz, I didn't, Mrs. Kate used to blame me _all_ the time." Gil said, trying to ease some of the tension in the room.

Although it was partly true, as far as Mrs. Kate had been concerned, when something was or had gone wrong, it had to be Gil's fault. He was the scapegoat.

Oz giggled, but immediately caught himself. Gil sighed and Oz suddenly became frantic.

"Don't be sad Gil, I-I'm sorry, it's me isn't it?" Oz began to sob uncontrollably.

The Bezarius youth released the front of Gil's shirt in favour of tearing at his own hair.

"Oz, stop it!" Gil cried as he grabbed Oz's wrists.

"I can't do anything right, I finally understand why my father doesn't want me, no one could ever want a thing like me!" Oz sobbed.

Gil's heart clenched so painfully it was almost unbearable, he managed to detangle Oz's hands from his own hair and he pulled the broken boy against his chest, holding him with all the strength he could without hurting him.

"That's not true Oz," He said firmly. "That's not true at all!"

"Yes it is." Oz mumbled against his chest.

Gil reached up with one hand and began to gently stroke Oz's hair, softly shushing the boy until his sobs faded into whimpers that gradually faded away all together. Gil sat for a moment, enjoying the peace and the closeness with Oz.

"Oz?" He softly said the boy's name.

Oz didn't respond, he showed no reaction at all. Gil pulled back and smiled, Oz had obviously worn himself out and had fallen asleep. He slipped one arm under Oz's legs and lifted the small body into his arms.

Again, he noticed just how delicate and fragile Oz really was, perhaps had always been. In his youth, Gil had always seen his master as the picture of strength, he had looked up to his master, idolised him, because his master had been everything and more in Gil's eyes, especially in comparison to himself.

But now, now it was harder to hold on to that image. He still treasured Oz over every other thing in his life, but their positions were completely reversed now. He was the bigger and stronger of them now, and he realized that the views he'd had as a child, had been just that, the views of a child, conceived only through rose coloured glasses.

He walked over and gently laid Oz on the bed, he was puzzled when he found himself unable to stand up again, but smiled when he saw that Oz had his grip on Gil's shirt and even in his sleep seemed reluctant to let go. Gil managed to detangle his fingers and placed his arm down gently, as opposed to simply letting it drop back. Gil retrieved Oz's blanket and covered the boy, not wanting him to become cold.

He leaned down and pressed his lips lightly against Oz's forehead.

"Good night, my precious Oz." He whispered.

"Gil…" He heard Oz murmur and for one frightening second Gil thought he may have woken up.

But upon inspection, he was merely talking in his sleep. Oz's hand, that had previously been latched on to his shirt, reached out, fingers curling and uncurling.

"Gil…" He murmured again, forehead slightly creasing.

Gil turned around to leave, once again hearing his name pass Oz's lips, he smiled.

"I love you…"


	3. Chapter 3

"_Don't do this, Sharon! Make Eques stop!" He cried out._

_The great black unicorn tossed it head, and Oz felt himself being pulled into the portal._

"_Oz!" He saw Gil reaching out._

_No! No! He couldn't lose Gil, not now!_

"_Gil!" Oz reached back._

_He took one last look at his servant as the portal closed and he was falling, falling, falling…falling._

"_Gil!"_

Oz's eyes shot open, one hand clutched the blanket tightly against his chest, the other outstretched, reaching. His body was soaked with sweat, his breaths coming in rapid gasps.

_That dream again…_

How Oz hated that dream, it was the most commonly frequent of all his recurring nightmares. He lowered his arm, dropping it back to his side.

_Just a dream…just a dream…_

Oz covered his face, but quickly removed them as the pain in his nose rose to the surface. The pain reminded him of what had happened yesterday, he blushed and thought sadly that Gil must have left after putting him to bed, but that thought was interrupted by a light snore. Oz sat up and looked around, what he saw made him smile and his blush deepened.

Gil was sleeping quietly in the chair beside his bed, one arm was supporting his head, the other was resting in his lap. Oz smiled, he looked at Gil's hand, he reached out and slipped his hand into Gil's. The panic and fear from his dream fading away, but Oz wanted more.

He didn't know what possessed him to do it, but Oz pushed the covers back and climbed out of bed. Still maintaining his hold on Gil's hand, Oz managed to crawl on to his lap without waking the sleeping man, which he attributed to the years he spent silently evading the maids.

"Gil."

Oz snuggled against Gil's chest, he could hear his heartbeat, just like before. Oz closed his eyes again, lulled by the gentle rhythm of his servant's heart, slipping back into sleep once again.

Gil slowly opened his eyes, his first thought was to wonder why his legs were numb. Looking down, he got a nose full of blonde hair. Gil recoiled, barely controlling his urgent need to sneeze. When he finally got that under control, Gil looked down at Oz.

Despite the fact he couldn't feel his legs, he smiled fondly at the sleeping boy. Oz had draped one of Gil's arms around himself, he had both small hands holding on to Gil's larger one.

Gil would never admit to it, but he loved watching Oz sleeping, when his mask fell away and a peaceful calm expression replaced it.

Before the night Oz had been taken away, sometimes he would ask Gil to stay with him until he fell asleep. They were some of his fondest memories, just sitting and talking about anything and everything until his master was sleeping soundly. He had often been scolded afterwards because he would stay and watch Oz while he slept, not getting himself to bed until the latest hours of the night, which ended in him being exhausted the following day. If he was caught yawning by Mrs. Kate, she would severely scold him to the point where he would be almost in tears, the main reason because she would tell him if he was caught being lazy too often, he would be sent away.

This started about a year after he had first been brought to Oz, so being as young and naïve as he had been, he had fully believed he would be taken away from his master. The first time she applied this threat in her lecture, he _had_ cried. And he hadn't been able to stop crying and apologising until she had gone and fetched Oz, who had angrily defended his "right" as he called it, to be the only one allowed to pick on Gil.

After Mrs. Kate had left, Oz had simply patted him on the head and told him not to worry, that he would never let Gil be sent away.

"_B-but…Young Master…I…" He sniffed._

_Oz put his hands on Gil's shoulders and looked him straight in the eye, a serious look on his face._

"_You trust me, don't you Gil?" He said._

_Gil nodded._

"_Well then, trust me that I won't let anyone take you away, ever!" Oz said those words with such strength that Gil had no choice but to believe him._

"_A-and…I…if they try t-to take me…I…I…I won't go!" He said._

_Oz stared at him in silence for a moment before breaking out in a smile. He released Gil's shoulders and ruffled his hair._

"_Glad to hear it, Gil."_

Gil smiled at the memory. He brought his free hand up and brushed Oz's hair away from his face. Suddenly he saw the blonde's eyelids flicker and his body shifted ever so slightly. He was waking up; Gil thought.

"Oz." He softly called his name.

What happened next couldn't have surprised Gil more unless he'd been slapped in the face, actually, that statement was not too far off. It all happened so quickly and yet so slowly.

Oz had raised his hand, almost as if going to rub his eyes, but instead, that hand darted out and smacked Gil quite hard in the face. This little action was followed by Oz's somewhat impeded attempt to rollover, merely succeeding in wedging his hip rather painfully against Gil's pelvis.

Even in his sleep, Oz could be a devilish little sadist, the horns poking out of his head were proof of that, well, he didn't really have horns, but it was so easy for Gil to picture that he did in this situation.

"Too early for lessons Gil…sleep now, yes…thank you…" Oz murmured, settling down once again.

Gil could have laughed, it was what Oz used to say when it had been Gil's duty to wake his master in the mornings.

When his simple denial had failed to make his dedicated servant allow him to skip his lessons in favour of sleep, he'd taken to pulling the boy into the bed with him, holding him in a headlock until he quieted down or agreed to assist Oz in playing hooky.

Gil decided that judging by the light peeking in through the gap in the drapes, that it was already quite far into the day. Oz had slept enough.

"Oz, wake up." He said softly.

Oz did not stir, Gil sighed both mentally and out loud. Oz always was a bit of a heavy sleeper, when he wasn't having nightmares. Gil tried to get his arm back from Oz, but the moment he tried to move it out of the small boy's grasp, his hands shot out, clutching tightly at the fabric of Gil's sleeve.

"Oh fine, you win Young Master, sleep to your heart's content." He whispered in Oz's ear.

Oz just fidgeted slightly before returning to his peaceful state. Gil smiled lovingly down at the boy, the numbness in his legs was beginning to become painful and he knew that he could possibly be here all day, but looking at Oz now, so serene. It just made everything worth it.

Suddenly Gil realized that one of the others may come looking for Oz, more importantly, Alice may come looking. He grimaced at the thought of the stupid rabbit finding them in _this_ position, god knows she could throw a tantrum to rival the crankiest toddler, only with more profanities.

"Oz, you really couldn't have picked any other chain to help you escape the Abyss." Gil muttered.

_Why couldn't you have waited for me?_

He instantly cursed himself, how could he be so selfish? How could he have expected Oz to spend even a minute longer in that dreadful place just so he could play the hero?

As much as he hated it, he owed Alice a debt he could never repay. She had returned Oz to him, but that also contradicted the fact that she would be the hand that would one day rip his master away once again, for good.

His eyes narrowed at the spot on Oz's chest where he knew, beneath the thin fabric of the boy's shirt, that accursed clock was silently ticking away, each movement of its hand taking a little more of his master.

Oz was content to remain in this warmth for the rest of the day, but he knew Alice would probably not be so content with his absence, and he didn't want her to start a fight with Gil. He didn't like the way Gil got after some of their fights, when Oz would tell them to just get along and at least pretend to like each other.

Gil would often become quiet and brooding for quite some time, Oz had never had the courage to approach him about this, he would always wait until it wore off and he would jokingly refer to it, secretly hoping for a confession.

He had a theory, well, it wasn't really a theory, he was almost certain it was the reason. The reason Gil resented Alice so much…

"Oz?"

Oz opened his eyes, looking up into Gil's golden ones, concern etched deep within their depths.

Oz realized that he was clutching his chest, over his heart and over the mark that, he knew, was the cause of Gil's animosity towards Alice.

"Sleep well?" Gil asked, the slightest amount of humour in his voice.

Oz blushed a deep red, Gil chuckled and Oz shifted off of him. He stretched, he hadn't slept so well in a long time. Oz turned back to Gil and smiled, he received a smile in return.

Gil went to get up, but as soon as he tried to stand of his own volition, he stumbled. With speed that surprised the boy himself, Oz jumped forward and allowed the man to fall against him.

"Gil, are you okay?"

The man nodded and pushed away.

"My legs are still a bit numb, but I think it should be okay now." He said.

"Am…am I that heavy now?" Oz asked quietly.

Gil looked at him with a mixture of surprise and confusion.

"Heavy? Oz, you must be joking? You weigh practically nothing to me." Gil said good naturedly.

Oz simply accepted that answer. Suddenly his stomach growled loudly and his blush deepened by about three shades.

"You go and eat Oz, after all, you're still growing." Gil teased him, patting him on the head.

Oz pouted at his servant, remembering how he used to tease Gil in the same way, even though he'd only been the slightest bit taller than the dark haired boy.

"And I think if you don't greet the stupid rabbit sometime today, she's likely to throw a fit." Gil added, Oz didn't miss the sharpness of his tone when he mentioned Alice.

Oz sighed and nodded. He exited his room with Gil in tow and began to walk down the hallway, when he heard Gil's footsteps grow fainter, he stopped and turned around.

Gil was walking in the opposite direction.

"O-Oi, Gil! Where're you going?" He asked.

Gil turned back to look at Oz.

"Don't worry, I'll be down in a little while, there's just a couple of things I want to do first." He explained before turning again and walking away.

Oz watched him go with a somewhat heavy heart.

_I'm being stupid, he'll be down soon…_

Oz forced himself to keep walking.

**-XXX-**

Gil opened the door to his room, walked in and shut it quietly behind himself. He exhaled loudly and dropped on to the bed. It had been so hard to keep his composure in front of Oz this whole time.

He would have to convince Oz that everything was just as it had been before, he would act like nothing had changed.

Even though everything had changed.

He had at least admitted to himself that what he felt for Oz was more than he could ever hope for in return. He loved his master, but that didn't matter anyway, he could never tell Oz the truth. For the most part it was his fear of rejection, but the rest was his fear of harming Oz, god knows the blonde's life had been difficult enough without Gil adding to it himself.

But, god also knows that this was terribly difficult. It was so hard to put on a happy face when his entire being was in turmoil. How did Oz do it? How did he smile when it felt like his entire world was being turned upside-down?

Gil shut his eyes, the entire ordeal had drained his energy completely. He would rest his eyes for a moment, then go and join Oz downstairs.

There was but a single flaw in his plan…he'd already fallen asleep.

**-XXX-**

Oz watched, as he did every morning, Alice eat with such speed that he was surprised she didn't get a stomach ache when she was finished. He smiled as Sharon walked up from behind and wiped Alice's face clean of the food that hadn't made it into the chain's mouth, as she always did, Alice protested but was ignored.

He then looked to the empty seat beside Alice, it had been a good hour and Gil hadn't come down yet.

"Why do you do that?!" Alice asked annoyed.

Sharon laughed and smiled.

"You shouldn't hide your pretty face behind crumbs of food, Miss Alice" Sharon said sweetly.

Alice blushed and sulked. Sharon's role was that of a doting mother and an older sister, especially towards Alice.

"Could you be anxious about something, Oz-kun?"

Oz almost fell out of his seat when Break whispered in his ear, he waited a moment for his heart to stop pounding against his ribs.

"What gives you that idea?" He replied.

Break smiled.

"You've been tapping your foot quite vigorously for the past hour, is that not a sign of impatience and/or anxiety?" The red-eyed man teased.

Oz noticed for the first time that he was tapping his foot, he stopped now that he was conscious of it.

"I'm just feeling a bit fidgety, that's all, I mean, there hasn't been any chain sightings for a while and all we've done is sit around here" Oz impressed himself with his quick excuse.

The way Break smiled at him unnerved Oz, it was almost as if he knew Oz was lying.

"Could that also be why you're so preoccupied with a certain somebody's absence?"

Oz froze and Break walked away. Was he really that easy to read?

But Gil's absence was questionable, he had said he would be down in a little while, but a little while had already passed for Oz, so where was his servant?

He stood from the table and decided he'd investigate on his own.

"Hey Oz, where're you going?!" Alice called to him.

"I'm gonna walk around for a bit, I don't wanna get lazy" He called back without stopping.

Alice seemed to believe him, she didn't argue and more importantly, she didn't follow him.

**-XXX-**

Oz got to Gil's door and took a breath, he knocked. He didn't get an answer, Oz slowly opened the door and stuck his head in.

It was almost a mirror image of the scene from yesterday. Gil was asleep on his bed in the same position, in the same spot.

Oz smiled, this would be a test if everything was the same as before, or at least, if Gil was the same as before.

To Oz, everything had changed, he wanted, he _needed_ to know if there could be anything more between himself and Gil.

He…Oz…wanted there to be something…he didn't think he could handle being rejected again, especially not by Gil.

Oz ran up and jumped on the sleeping man, who came awake just as abruptly as the first time, Gil groaned when he realized what had happened.

"Oh joy, isn't this familiar?" He said sarcastically.

Oz laughed.

"What happened? You said you were only gonna be a little while." Oz said.

Gil looked ashamed of himself.

"Sorry, I closed my eyes for two seconds, I didn't mean to fall asleep. I'm sorry Oz." He sounded truly regretful.

Oz was amused.

"Don't worry about it, I was just wondering." He replied.

Oz climbed off of Gil as the older man sat up and ran a hand through his hair, he looked at Oz and suddenly his eyes widened for a moment as he seemed to remember something. Gil reached out and softly touched Oz's nose.

"All better?" He asked.

Oz remembered the previous night's events.

"Yep, doesn't hurt anymore, see?" Oz reached up and smacked his nose with the palm of his hand.

He squeaked as pain burned from his nose and tears sprung to his eyes. He hopped from foot to foot as the pain subsided, Gil laughed at him.

"Well now, that wasn't very smart, now was it?" He said.

Oz couldn't help but smile too, something told him that now was the time. This was his chance, his only chance, to see if there was anything more for them than just master and servant.

He swallowed hard, he didn't have any kind of plan, he only hoped that he wouldn't do anything too stupid.

Oz stepped forward and put his hands on Gil's shoulders, the man stopped laughing and looked up at Oz with a mix of concern and confusion in his golden eyes.

"Oz?" His voice was quiet.

He looked into Oz's emerald eyes and he saw something he couldn't identify, was it fear? He couldn't think properly, his heart was beating so fast, he could hear it pumping in his ears.

Oz let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding, it was now or never, whatever happened next, would change everything.

_Gil…_

Oz leaned down, closing his eyes, and pressed his lips against Gil's.


	4. Chapter 4

Gil's mind couldn't properly comprehend the situation.

Oz was _kissing_ him, he was frozen in place, unsure of what to do. The fact that Oz had initiated this had shocked him enough, but what shocked him more was his inability to react, this was what he'd wanted wasn't it? The feel of Oz's lips against his own, every time he tried to co ordinate his thoughts, he would be reminded of what was happening and he would lose track all over again.

Oz took Gil's lack of response as rejection, and regret over his impulsive actions began to sink in.

Why had he been so stupid and foolish?

Insecurity and doubt also chose this opportunity to rear their ugly heads.

Had the previous night's tenderness and affection been out of pity? Or just simple obligation? Had any of it been the way Oz had interpreted it?

Oz felt the familiar sting of tears behind his eyes, he needed to go before he shamed himself again, his pride couldn't take another blow, no part of him could at that moment.

He pulled away, taking a moment to look into Gil's golden eyes, which were wide. The man opened and closed his mouth.

"Oz…you…I-I don't…" He seemed to be having the most difficulty speaking.

Oz smiled sadly, Gil felt his own heart clench in response.

"It's okay Gil…y-you don't…you don't have to say anything." Oz said with the slightest of wavers in his voice.

He dropped his hands from Gil's shoulders and took a step back. He was suddenly terribly conscious of how cold the room was, the distance between them sliced into Oz like a knife.

He took another step back, he was like a wounded animal, except it wasn't Oz himself that was wounded, it was his heart.

Oz turned away and went as if to run from the room, but Gil wouldn't let him.

"Oz, wait!"

He leapt from the bed and grabbed Oz's wrist, his grip gentle but firm. The boy stopped, his hand outstretched, mere inches from the door knob.

Gil released his hold on Oz's wrist and walked around to stand in front of him. Oz had his head lowered, small fists clenched at his sides.

Gil removed his gloves, discarding them to the floor at his feet. He rested his now bare hands on either side of Oz's face and forced the boy to look at him.

_Tears again…_

Gil had seen this look before, right after the incident with Oz's father, this utterly defeated heartbroken look.

"Please Oz, no more tears," He said softly, stroking Oz's pale, wet cheek with his thumb. "No more tears."

He leaned down slowly, gently bringing Oz's face forward to meet his as both golden and emerald eyes slid closed, lips finally meeting in a sweet and tender kiss.

Oz shyly brought his hands up and slid them around Gil's neck. An overwhelming warmth just flooded his body, Oz thought he might sink under the weight of it, but he didn't care.

He pressed slowly but eagerly into the kiss, he was completely certain now, he hadn't been wrong about his feelings at all.

Uncertainty. Sadness. Pain. None of it could touch him now. For the first time in his entire life, Oz felt like he could actually be happy without worrying about the future.

They only broke apart only when the need for air became impossible to ignore.

They stared at one another in silence, but it wasn't an uncomfortable silence, it was simply silence.

"Gil…" Oz breathed.

No one in his life had ever looked at him the way Gil was now, like he actually meant something, like he was important, like he was…_loved_.

Hot tears spilled over and down his face, he pushed forward and buried his face against Gil's neck. He was laughing, he wondered if, after this, he would ever be able to stop smiling.

Oz felt Gil wrap his arms around his waist, pulling him in to fully press their bodies together. Oz gasped as a surge of electricity went through his entire body, setting his skin on fire.

"You know, we should probably go downstairs soon, Break's likely to get the wrong ideas and you know he'll say them out loud." Oz half laughed, half sighed.

Gil growled.

"You don't know how many times these past ten years I've wanted to…"

Oz giggled, Gil had said this once before. He pulled back and gave Gil a quick kiss on the cheek, effectively silencing the man. Unparalleled happiness swelled in Oz's chest with the small action he'd just taken, with the knowledge that he'd done it and he hadn't been rejected.

Gil felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his chest, he felt so light and free. He loved his master, he loved Oz, and Oz loved him back. The light in the boy's emerald green eyes, reflected on his face, in his smile, they brought Gil unbridled happiness. How he loved Oz's smiles, how he'd missed them those ten long years.

Gil became suddenly sombre.

"Gil?" Oz noticed the shift in his mood.

Oz lowered his arms, took Gil's hand and led him back to the bed. He guided Gil to sit and then he dropped down beside him.

"Don't be sad Gil, I don't want you to be sad anymore." He said softly, emphasising this with a gentle squeeze of his hand.

"I…I…missed you…so much." Gil whimpered.

Oz realized he was speaking of the ten years he'd missed while in the Abyss. He wondered just how much Gil had thought of him in that time, how much loneliness he'd felt, how much sadness he'd endured.

"You did?" He said.

Gil nodded, reaching up with his other hand to rub at his eyes, he was crying. Oz had only seen Gil cry once after he'd escaped from the Abyss. When he had been drunk and had begged Oz to take better care of himself, saying that if he didn't Gil would be sad.

Oz stood, releasing Gil's hand and wrapped his arms around the man's head.

"I was so worried, I thought I'd k…I'd never see you again." Oz hadn't been able to say 'killed'.

Gil wrapped his arms around Oz's middle in response, Oz was grateful to be the one comforting for once, instead of always being comforted, he was glad to be able to give something back.

They remained that way for a moment, Oz rested his chin on the top of Gil's head, he supposed that in a way, he was still being comforted as well.

"Oz! Seaweed-Head!" Alice's voice boomed through the mansion.

Both Oz and Gil shot up and they broke apart just in time for the chain to kick the door open with a loud _bang_.

"There you are! I looked everywhere for you!" She practically shouted.

"Stupid rabbit! Use your inside voice, we're right here." Gil growled.

Alice seemed to completely ignore what he said as she stomped over from the doorway.

"The stupid clown wants to see Seaweed Head, apparently it's important." She said as she folded her arms across her chest.

"Why? What could be so important?" Gil asked.

"I don't know! Go ask him yourself!" Alice said in a huff.

Gil frowned before standing and walking past them, Oz watched him go, a small sadness taking root. He already missed that closeness they had shared.

**-XXX-**

Oz hardly listened as Alice reprimanded him for being so difficult to find, stating once again that as her manservant, he had some nerve leaving her. His mind was focused solely on Gil, his mind trying feverishly to hold onto the exact feeling of Gil's lips against his own, wanting to remember it exactly as it had been; perfect.

"Oz! Are you listening to me?!" Alice said impatiently, snapping Oz from his thoughts.

"Yes, Alice." He lied, smiling.

Alice didn't seem to believe him, but said nothing to confirm or deny it. When they arrived downstairs, only Sharon was to be found.

"Miss Sharon, where've Gil and Break gone?" Oz asked.

Sharon smiled.

"Break had something important to speak to Gilbert about, so they've gone somewhere else to speak privately."

Oz didn't like the sound of that, a feeling of unrest settling in his stomach.

**-XXX-**

When Break and Gil finally returned, Oz's bad feeling was seemingly justified, the golden eyed man was clearly put off by something.

In fact, he immediately left the room, not saying a word.

"What was that about?" Alice asked.

Break just smiled and sat down with Sharon.

"Nothing for you to be concerned about, Miss Alice."

However, it was something for Oz to be concerned about, and even if not, he wasn't going to ignore this. He followed after his servant, wanting to know what had him in such a bad way.

**-XXX-**

Oz was puzzled when he didn't find the dark-haired man in his room, or anywhere else for that matter. He searched the entire mansion in a relatively small amount of time and was unable to find Gil anywhere. He returned to Gil's room to see if the man had left any indication of where he'd gone to.

He noticed that Gil's hat and coat were gone as well, his gun was also missing.

_Gil, where did you go?_


	5. Chapter 5

Oz lay in bed, sleep eluded him, as did any kind of peace of mind. The fact that it was storming outside didn't help, the rain pounded against his window.

_Gil…_

It had been an entire 48 hours and Gil had yet to return from wherever he had disappeared to, Oz was worried sick. He had tried once to get answers from Break, but his attempts had been brushed off almost immediately.

_"Do not fret Oz-kun, Gilbert just had some business to attend to, he'll return when he's finished."_

If that was all it was, why couldn't Gil have talked to Oz about it? If it was something that bothered him, why hadn't he thought to seek respite from his master?

Gil could be so reserved, sometimes it truly bothered the Bezarius youth, he wished Gil would be more forthcoming with his thoughts and feelings, Oz just wanted Gil to open up to him a little more.

They'd already come this far, the worst was over, right? Oz desperately fought off the fears that what they had shared had been a one off thing, he refused to believe it, he just couldn't.

Oz yanked the covers over his head, a childish defense mechanism, but it did bring Oz a little solace. He touched his fingers to his lips, the entire experience replaying over in his head.

He found himself thinking, wondering, what Gil tasted like. He guessed cigarettes would play into it largely, seeing as Gil smoked on a regular basis and had been smoking for how long Oz didn't know.

Suddenly Oz heard a faint noise of movement from downstairs, his hearing was as such. He threw back his covers and leapt from his bed, it was Gil; he thought, Gil had returned. He bolted from his room and ran towards the direction of the noise he'd heard. Despite the speed with which he ran, his footsteps were light and almost silent, the ability to travel with almost complete stealth, another gift from his childhood-maid-evasion days. He burst into the main hall of the mansion and almost cried out with joy when he saw a figure through the darkness, it could only have been Gil; he told himself.

Oz was about to run to him when a flash of lightning momentarily illuminated the room, but that moment felt almost as if time had stopped. Horrified gold met shocked emerald.

"Oz…" Gil's voice was barely a whisper.

For a brief second, Oz couldn't believe that the person in front of him, covered almost head to toe with blood, was his Gil. He had never seen any person in a more gruesome state, not even the gore of Alice's human demise had seen this much blood. The rain had obviously washed away and diluted it somewhat, but it was still as clear as day, splattered across the man's face and in large stains across his soaked and now partially transparent white shirt was that horrible crimson colour.

Oz took a single step forward, thinking that the blood was the Nightray's own, but almost immediately Gil turned away, his back to Oz.

"Oz…go back to your room…now." Pausing between his words, his tone low and serious.

"But Gil…you…" Oz weakly protested, taking another step forward.

"Oz!" Gil snapped.

Oz shrank back before turning and running away, he was confused, he hadn't detected any anger in Gil's voice, it had been almost pleading, and that only frightened him more. He didn't understand, he didn't understand at all!

When Oz arrived back at his room, he rushed in and slammed the door, leaning his back against the hard wood, attempting to regain his breath.

_What was that?! What. Was. That?!_

Oz tensed as he heard footsteps pass his room, again, it could only have been Gil, not counting the fact that Oz knew the man's steps from memory. His stubborn nature wouldn't allow him to let this slide, Oz was going to get to the bottom of this, he tried to ignore that sad part of him that simply longed for some sort of contact with Gil.

He left his room and crept silently to Gil's, he knocked merely as a formality, he intended to enter whether Gil wanted him to or not.

"Oz!" Gil seemed surprised to see him.

Oz slipped inside and shut the door behind himself, leaning his back against it, blocking any chance of escape. He averted his eyes to the floor, trying to find the right words to express what he was feeling.

"Oz, I-" Gil stopped himself.

Oz didn't like this silence, but he was unable to get his own vocal cords to work properly. Instead, he pushed himself away from the door and approached Gil, the older man went as if to push him away, but all at once he just lost the heart to resist. Oz slipped his arms around Gil's waist, resting his cheek against his servant's chest, he ignored the wetness that immediately transferred itself to his clothes upon contact.

"Oz, I never wanted you to see me…_like this_." There was shame in his voice, so much that it hurt Oz just to hear it.

"You're not hurt?" He simply said.

"Not seriously."

"Then the blood is-"

"Not mine." Gil answered quickly.

Oz closed his eyes, he hadn't slept well these last two days that Gil had been gone and he was suddenly aware of how tired he was.

"That's good." He whispered, suppressing a yawn.

"Oz, it's late, you need to sleep and I…need to change." Gil said as he began to gently push Oz away.

The blonde made a small whine of protest, pressing himself closer to Gil.

"Oz, come on." Gil said.

Oz simply refused to budge, he was quite content where he was and so like his childish nature designated, would only be moved when he was good and ready.

"Oz, you've already gotten your clothes wet and if you don't change as well, you're going to get sick." Gil said as he gently stroked Oz's hair.

"I don't care." He murmured.

He heard Gil sigh.

"But I do." The man said firmly.

Gil bent down and scooped Oz into his arms, in his half asleep state; the boy squeaked in surprise before settling back down.

"Now, I'm going to take you back to your room, you're going to change and then you're going to go to sleep. Alright?" Gil said.

Oz mumbled something incoherent, Gil didn't know if that had been a yes or a no, not like it mattered anyway, he wasn't looking for a compromise. He was relieved to see Oz's door was open, he certainly didn't have any free hands at the moment. He walked in and sat Oz on the edge of the bed and knelt down in front of him, he shook the boy's shoulder slightly to get his attention. Oz's head shot up and he looked around, almost confused, for a moment before his eyes settled on Gil.

"Hey Gil, don't leave again, okay?" Oz smiled a sideways smile.

Gil could see that Oz wasn't really all there at that time, he wondered if his master had slept at all these past two days he'd been gone. Part of him was touched that Oz had lost sleep over his absence, but another part of him ached at the knowledge that he'd done something that had upset his precious master's life.

Gil looked away, he didn't want to lie to Oz, but he couldn't say that he wouldn't leave again. He hadn't left willingly in the first place, the lie it would have to be.

"Okay Oz, I won't." He said as he reached up and brushed his fingers over Oz's cheek.

Oz closed his eyes and Gil had to shake him again to prevent him from falling asleep then and there.

"Hey, don't drop off on me yet, you need to change your shirt." He said gently.

Oz blinked twice and then nodded slowly, he seemed to be having the most difficulty getting his shirt off. He fumbled with the buttons, only succeeding in undoing one after three minutes. Gil sighed, he was going to fall asleep before Oz managed to change himself.

"Here, let me." He said quietly.

He reached out and Oz dropped his hands into his lap, sitting perfectly still while Gil unbuttoned his shirt. He helped Oz get his arms out of the sleeves and he placed the wet shirt on the bed beside the boy. He stood and walked over to the chest of drawers that stood by the wall, he picked what he assumed was an appropriate night shirt and walked back.

His expression softened when he saw that Oz had fallen sideways on to the bed, one hand rested beside his face, the other lay down beside his legs. Gil shook his head, the boy must have been truly exhausted.

What was he supposed to do now? He didn't want to leave Oz half dressed for the night, he supposed he would simply have to make an attempt to dress the boy while he was sleeping.

Sounded simple enough, easy even…right?

Gil stood for a while, just watching Oz as he slept, wondering how exactly he was going to go about this. He decided to just go in and wing it, what was the worst that could come out of it?

Gil sat beside Oz, he pulled the sleeping teenager into an upright sitting position. Gil rested Oz's back against his chest while he prepared the shirt, first he slid one of Oz's arms through the sleeve and then with a slight amount of difficulty; because he didn't want to hurt him, the other arm as well. Gil released a breath he hadn't realized he was holding, the hard part was over. He reached around Oz's small frame and began to slowly button his shirt, his arms completely encircled the sleeping boy, his chin coming to rest on the top of Oz's head.

_Oz, my precious…Oz…_

Gil finished with the final button and withdrew his arms, laying Oz down and covering him with his blankets. He took a moment to admire Oz'speaceful expression as he slept, he reached down and brushed the hair off his face.

"Goodnight Oz, sweet dreams." He whispered as he leaned down and pressed his lips against the boy's forehead.

**-XXX-**

Gil rose and walked away, silently closing Oz's door after himself. He needed to change his clothes, he couldn't believe Oz had hugged him while he'd been…_like this_. He cursed himself for not being more careful, he should have just opted for climbing in through his window.

When he reached his room, he discarded his coat on the sofa, followed quickly by his shirt and pants. Changing into a pair of black pants, he dropped onto his bed, lazily dragging the blanket over himself, he was tired.

How Gil hated the rain, it always reminded him of the night of the coming of age ceremony. On nights like these, his scar would actually begin to hurt, as if his body was reliving the memory of that night.

Yes, he truly hated the rain.


	6. Chapter 6

Oz awoke the next morning to Alice shouting in his ear before he was pulled from the comfort of his bed and on to the floor, landing painfully on his backside.

"Ow!" He said as he rubbed what he was sure would be bruise in a matter of hours.

"Shut up and move, I'm hungry!" Alice growled.

Oz smiled, it was unlike him to sleep late, he seemed to be making a habit of it lately though.

"Thanks for waking me, but Alice can go on ahead." He said as he stood, stretching his sluggish limbs.

Alice huffed before walking out of his room, slamming the door loudly behind her. Oz made his bed before deciding he would go and wake Gil. He almost laughed at himself, the master waking the servant, that was a new one.

**-XXX-**

Oz realized that he had been back and forth to Gil's room more than ever before in the last few days, if this continued, he may just have to move in with Gil to save time.

Almost immediately Oz shook his head to dispel those thoughts, blushing furiously as he did so.

Determined to start the day on a good note, Oz prepared a large smile as he strolled into his servant's bedroom. Gil had obviously dropped onto his mattress last night as one arm dangled off the side of the bed, the blanket only covering him from the waist down, the man was lying on his front, leaving his bare back exposed.

"Good morning Gil!" He practically sang.

Gil didn't respond, his eyelids did not so much as flutter. Oz wasn't bothered, he waltzed to the side of Gil's bed and was about to shake the man awake when he spied something on Gil's skin that he hadn't seen before.

A peculiar scar nestled almost directly in between the man's shoulder blades. Suddenly Gil began to stir, and Oz's attention was diverted.

"Gi~l." He said as he leaned his face right down to Gil's.

One golden eye cracked open, before widening and Gil shot upright with a shout.

"Oz!"

The man almost fell backwards off the bed, Oz giggled.

"Good morning Gil." He said.

The man seemed to relax, Oz's eyes rested on the long vertical scar that ran from his shoulder to his hip; old guilt surfacing, but something else was there as well, he was quite enjoying this unobstructed view of Gil's chest.

"What time is it?" Gil asked as he ran a hand trough his hair.

Oz shrugged, crawling onto the bed to sit beside him.

"I don't know, Alice just woke me up and said it was time to eat." He said.

"It's always time to eat in her books, she's a walking stomach." Gil muttered the last part under his breath.

Oz chuckled, sometimes Gil's animosity for Alice could be funny.

"Did you sleep well?" Gil asked.

Oz nodded, Gil seemed to relax a little more after that.

"I can tell you just got up, you've got an amazing case of bed head." Gil chuckled as he ruffled Oz's hair.

Oz made a small noise of annoyance, but smiled nonetheless.

"You're one to talk, and your hair's longer than mine." Oz laughed as he reached out and gave a gentle tug on a lock of Gil's hair.

Gil smiled and laughed as well, Oz withdrew his hand and went to place it on the bed, but his hand landed precisely on top of Gil's.

They both froze and stared down at their hands, Oz's small hand was barely half the size of Gil's.

Oz raised his eyes first and saw a light blush dusting his servant's cheeks. Gil eventually lifted his eyes to meet Oz's gaze, neither uttered a single word, simply put; there were none to be said.

Oz shifted forward slightly, leaning in slowly, cautiously. He felt Gil's other hand slide around his waist, coming to rest on his lower back, urging him forward with the smallest of pushes. Oz felt the ghost of Gil's breath on his lips, he almost lost control then and there.

Gil just brushed Oz's lips with his own when-

"OZ!"

The moment was shattered, Oz and Gil separated with a sigh from each of them.

"Stupid rabbit…" Gil groaned as he went to flop back on the bed in defeat.

However, he misjudged his position and promptly went ass over teakettle off the edge of the bed and on to the floor, a loud string of profanities following.

Oz immediately lost it laughing, holding his stomach as his ribs threatened to crack from his laughs, he pulled himself over to the edge of the bed and looked down to check on Gil; who sat on the floor rubbing the back of his head.

"Gil, are you alright?" Oz asked.

"Yeah, but I'm probably gonna have one hell of a headache in a matter of hours." He replied.

Oz tried to remain sympathetic, he really did, but the hilarity of the situation overwhelmed him and he started laughing again, almost falling off the bed as well.

Suddenly Gil grabbed his arm and pulled him into his lap.

"I'll give you something to laugh about." He said as he started tickling Oz.

Oz almost cursed Gil for knowing exactly where his ticklish areas were, he tried to protect his weak spots, but Gil managed to get around his defences regardless.

"No…no f-fair Gil!" Oz tried to talk between laughs, he was actually having fun.

Gil was laughing too and Oz tried to grab the man's hand to stop him from poking him, but Gil was too swift with his movements.

They had both forgotten completely about Alice until the door was thrown open and she stormed in. Luckily the bed hid their positions and Oz climbed off Gil's lap before rising to look at Alice.

"That Sharon girl won't let me eat until you two drag your asses downstairs, so move it!" She shouted as she jumped up on the bed and dragged Oz from the room by the front of his shirt.

"Ah, don't take too long Gil!" Oz shouted back.

Gil smiled.

**-XXX-**

Oz was relieved when Gil actually came downstairs to join everyone in the dining room, he sat down opposite to Oz and cast him a knowing smile. The only one who really ate in the mornings was Alice, everyone else usually just had tea. The morning was mostly silent, except for the sound of Alice biting and chewing her food.

"Ah, that reminds me, Gilbert I need to speak with you." Break said.

The atmosphere was suddenly very tense, but Gil followed Break from the room regardless, Oz watching as they went.

To his immense relief, they emerged soon after and Gil sat back down, he stared into his cup, not looking up once. Oz didn't like that, he began to fear that Gil would leave again, he didn't like the separation at all.

When Alice finished eating, Sharon dragged her away with cries of 'girl time', Break said he had some business and left, leaving Oz and Gil alone.

"Gil, are you…alright?" Oz asked uncertainly.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Gil said.

Oz could tell he was lying and he had a feeling it had something to do with Gil's mysterious two day disappearance. Gil stood and started to walk away, but Oz jumped up and followed.

"Gil, I know you're lying." He said as they walked.

"No, I'm not." Gil said as he rubbed a hand over his face.

Oz frowned and ran ahead, blocking Gil's path. He looked at the man with anger, he didn't like being lied to, especially not by Gil.

"Yes, you are and you shouldn't have to, you know you can tell me anything, don't you trust me?" Oz said, hurt creeping into his voice.

Gil wouldn't look at him, that avoidance hurt more than anything. Oz reached out and slipped his hand into Gil's, he was relieved when Gil's hand closed around his.

"You know I do." Gil said quietly.

Oz smiled, he turned and pulled Gil behind him, he decided on his own room rather than Gil's. Once inside, Oz turned back to Gil and let go of his hand.

Something inside Oz took control, ever since that first touch, that first kiss, Oz had longed for more. Every time they'd come close, something had thrown up a wall, but not this time.

Oz grabbed on to the front of Gil's shirt and began to pull the man down to his level.

"Nothing can interrupt us now," He whispered. "Nothing."

It was then Oz gave one final pull and firmly planted his lips against Gil's, savouring every second from the moment of contact. He nipped at Gil's bottom lip, pressing harder into the kiss, earning a soft moan from the man above him. Oz linked his arms behind Gil's neck and nipped at his bottom lip again; requesting entrance.

Gil parted his lips and Oz explored every inch of his mouth with his tongue, he had been right on the ball with the taste of cigarettes, but there was also another flavour that was distinctly unique.

Wanting to close the distance between them completely, but unable to do so while Gil was forced to bend over, Oz began to walk backwards, pulling Gil with him. Oz felt the back of his legs hit the edge of the bed and he allowed himself to fall back.

Gil threw out his arms to stop from falling on top of Oz; afraid he would crush the boy. Their new position forced them to break the kiss, however unhappy he was at having to separate, Oz used this chance to get his breath back.

Gil stared down at the boy beneath him; emerald eyes half lidded, lips slightly parted, breathing heavy and cheeks tinged red, he memorized every detail, storing it away in his heart forever.

He slowly lowered himself down, carefully watching for any indication that he was hurting Oz, and proceeded to kiss the boy's face, his eyes, his nose, his forehead, everywhere. Then he promptly captured Oz's mouth in a kiss that was anything but shy.

The blonde allowed Gil to take full control, losing himself in the almost feverish heat that surged throughout his body. He parted his lips to engage Gil and was surprised to find himself fighting for dominance. Oz eventually surrendered and a pleasant moan escaped him as Gil's tongue caressed his own, provoking shivers up and down Oz's body.

Oz whined when Gil pulled away suddenly, but began trailing kisses down his jaw to his neck; where he began to gently suck on the perfect pale skin.

Oz twisted his fingers in the fabric of Gil's coat, digging his heels into the mattress; he arched his body upwards in an attempt to get closer, turning his head to allow the man above him more access. He gasped in both pain and pleasure when he felt Gil bite down on his neck, almost immediately running his tongue softly over the stinging mark, soothing it.

"G…Gil." Oz breathed his name.

Oz released Gil's coat and slid his hand into the man's dark tresses, pulling him back up to capture his mouth. Gil whispered his name again and again as he slowly, sweetly moved his lips against Oz's.

This time, neither moved to take control, both simply enjoying the feeling of the other. Gil moved one hand behind Oz's head to deepen the kiss.

_I love you._

The thought was simultaneous. They parted and both were breathing heavily, a thin layer of sweat covered Oz's body, he slowly opened his eyes and he stared up at Gil. The man looked down at Oz with such love in his gaze that his emerald eyes widened a fraction and tears burned behind them, something swelled inside his chest. He removed his hands from Gil's hair and brought them down to rub at his eyes.

"Oz?" He heard the concern in Gil's voice.

But he found he couldn't stop the flow of tears, he sniffed and smiled.

"It's…it's ok Gil, I'm just…" He had to stop to wipe away more tears. "…happy."

Gil's face softened into a smile when he realized that everything really was alright, he moved off of the boy and lay down beside him, reaching over to brush some hair off his face. Oz turned his head to look at his servant, before rolling over and pressing himself against Gil's side. He felt completely relaxed, his body felt so free and light, but his heart still fluttered as Gil moved his arm around Oz's shoulder.

"Then I'm happy too." Gil said.

"That's not a good reason." Oz teased.

Gil chuckled.

"Well, that's my reason and I'm sticking to it."

Oz smiled, he closed his eyes; not intending to sleep, just intending to stay as they were.

"Thank you, Gil."

Gil raised his head slightly to look at Oz, puzzled.

"What for, Oz? He asked.

All was silent for a moment.

"For everything." Oz replied at last.

Gil didn't really understand, but then again, Oz's smile told him he didn't have to.


	7. Chapter 7

The days passed slowly, but each one was filled with endless entertainment for Oz. His progressing relationship with his servant had given birth to a much loved game for the blonde boy. It was quite difficult to come across any time alone with Gil and Oz was never one for patience when he wanted something bad enough, so Oz had made a game out of trying to take advantage of every opportunity to sneak a kiss or a touch with his golden-eyed companion. It was a risky game they were playing indeed.

Oz was embarrassed to admit, that despite his confidence, he'd almost allowed himself to become careless and they'd almost been caught out in a few instances. He would lose himself in the heat of the moment, becoming consumed in the passion of what they were doing, if not for Gil's much sharper senses; they would have almost certainly been exposed on quite a few occasions.

However, none of these near misses proved to discourage Oz any. Gil was a little more reluctant, but Oz could quite easily silence any protests the older man had with a quick brush of his lips.

It was always up to Oz to initiate these little "sessions". He could tell, that went without saying, that Gil wanted the exact same thing he wanted, but was too cautious to go about the situation the way Oz did.

It seemed, on this day, an opportunity had presented itself without Oz having to pull any strings to make it happen.

Gil was returning to his house in the capital for a few days, one reason was that he did need to go back occasionally to maintain the place and the other reason was that they had been cooped up inside the Reinsworth mansion for a fortnight with nothing to do.

Oz had immediately volunteered to accompany Gil, and as luck would have it, Alice declined; saying that her culinary needs were better met if she stayed, this was because Gil had flat-out refused to further fund her voracious appetite. His ultimatum had been come along and eat normal meal portions for a few days; or stay behind, eat her usual buffet size platters of meat and wait for them to return. In the end, Alice had listened to her stomach and just shouted for them to not take too long or she would drag them back herself.

Sharon was delighted that Alice had chosen to stay, she had announced her intent to keep the chain company right away, happily declaring what fun they would have on these "girl's nights in".

They had packed quickly; they were only going for a few days after all. Oz had said goodbye to Alice and Sharon. Gil had been pulled away to the side by Break for a moment, Break spoke in a low voice so Oz had been unable to make out what he was saying and Gil, Gil didn't say a word. Gil eventually joined Oz on the carriage and Oz leaned out the door to wave enthusiastically as they left.

"Bye Alice! I'll see you in a few days!" He shouted before pulling the door closed and taking a seat opposite Gil.

He was about to say something to his servant when he saw the serious look on the man's face, he was deeply immersed in thought about something; something unpleasant. Oz decided he was going to get the unpleasantness out of the way so it would not ruin their time alone, he wanted answers regarding whatever Break kept pulling him away for.

"Gil." he tried to get the man's attention.

Gil looked up suddenly, almost as if he'd forgotten Oz's presence completely before he'd been called.

"What's wrong, Oz?" He asked.

Oz hesitated before speaking, he was afraid of what the consequences of this would be, he didn't want to ruin everything they'd had up until now. If he were to lose it all now; this might be the final straw for Oz, the last hurt he could stand in this life.

"Oz?" Gil leaned over and touched his shoulder.

Oz came out of his own thoughts and took a deep breath, he needed to do this.

"What was Break saying to you back there?"

Oz almost immediately regretted his own persistence when the atmosphere took a complete 180 degrees turn, Gil sat back in his seat and cast his gaze out the window.

"Nothing important," He said. "Don't worry about it."

Oz felt that familiar irritation boiling up inside him.

"Why?!" The boy cried out in frustration. "Why won't you tell me anything?"

Gil was noticeably taken aback by his outburst.

"Oz…I-" Gil started, but Oz cut him off.

"You keep saying you trust me, but you never actually talk to me. I want…I want to be there for you, but how can I when you won't let me?" He had his hands fisted in his lap and his body shook with every word.

Gil was speechless, he hadn't realised how deeply Oz felt about this. He felt like a complete bastard, he'd upset his master, but he was afraid to tell Oz the truth, how would the boy react if he knew what he'd done.

"It's complicated Oz, if you knew the things I've done, you'd probably never speak to me again," Gil said sadly. "I'm-"

"I don't care about any of that," Oz said as he wiped at corners of his eyes, refusing to cry until he'd made Gil understand. "I've told you, whenever you're ready to talk about these past 10 years; I'm ready to listen, but you're never going to tell me are you?"

Every cell in his body, screamed for him to comfort Oz, but he was frozen in place. He was so afraid of how Oz would react to the truth of just how dirtied his hands had become, but he supposed he deserved it after all.

"I'll tell you now," He said quietly. "Everything."

Oz didn't like how Gil refused to look at him, he stood and sat himself down next to his servant, waiting patiently for Gil to begin.

"I guess I'll start with those two days I was gone," Gil said. "I was called away on an assignment from Pandora."

Oz was puzzled, that wasn't so bad, but he had a feeling the worst was yet to come.

"What was the assignment?" He asked, slightly hesitant.

Gil sighed and a rueful smile crossed his face.

"It was regarding a member of Pandora who'd absconded with a chain that'd recently come into Pandora's custody. I was sent to track him down, retrieve the information he'd also taken and…" Gil paused as if pondering whether or not to continue. "…eliminate both him and the chain."

"Do you get assignments like that…often?" Oz asked.

The way Gil turned away told him all he needed to know.

"Can't you just say no? Tell them to get someone else?"

"No, Oz," He replied. "I don't have a choice, I sold my soul to these people, and now I have to live with that."

"What do you mean sold your soul?! For wha-" Oz froze mid-sentence.

"I had to find this man, who I've never even met, I had to get their information from him through any mean necessary and then I had to take his life."

There was pain in Gil's voice as he spoke, there was hatred and self-loathing.

"It's because of me," Oz whispered. "It's my fault."

Gil shook his head, looking at Oz for the first time since they'd left the mansion.

"No, what I did, I did out of desperation and guilt, it was always my decision and I've learned to accept the outcome of my stupidity," Gil reached over to pat Oz on the head. "But it's not all bad I suppose. I need Raven to prevent the dial on your seal from advancing, but as it stands; I haven't been doing a very good job, have I?"

Oz struggled with his composure, he hated seeing Gil like this, he hated that he'd started this horrible ordeal. He sat silently, listening as Gil confessed the things he'd been made to do on Pandora's orders, Oz was almost sick at thinking how much this had put his servant through. When they finally arrived at their destination, Gil had finished telling and he sat staring out the window of the carriage.

"We're here," He said as he stood and opened the door. "I'll understand if you go back now, if it were me; I wouldn't want to stay either."

Oz watched him exit the carriage, his shoulders slumped and head lowered. His chest tightened and his heart screamed for him to do something, anything; to fix what had happened today.

His stomach churned when he went over what Gil had said in his mind, and he had never given any indication of what he'd been forced to go through, he'd always been so kind and supportive to Oz even after everything.

_What should I do?_

**-XXX-**

Gil felt like an idiot standing outside his door, Oz wasn't going to come, he'd known that from the start, but it didn't stop some tiny part of him from hoping.

_Don't be stupid! Oz knows the truth now, he can see you for what you really are now, he can see the blood on your hands._

He unlocked the door and sighed when he saw the dust covering almost everything, he had his work cut out for him this time. He'd expected this, but it hadn't seemed so daunting when he'd thought Oz would be with him.

The reminder of what he'd just lost rubbed salt in the fresh and gaping wound on his heart, he almost started crying right there in the hallway, but he did what he always did and buried it under the persona he'd built to maintain his sanity those ten years he'd been separated from Oz.

He was Gilbert Nightray; adopted son of the Nightray family. He was contractor to Raven; a chain with feathers as black as the depths of Abyss. He was traitor to the Bezarius family. He was-

"Gil!"

His thoughts screeched to a halt when he heard _that person_ call his name. He turned just in time for Oz to throw himself into Gil.

"Oz?! What are you-? I thought you'd left." He said in disbelief.

Oz pressed his face into Gil's stomach, small arms slipping around his waist.

"I would never leave, not when Gil is hurting so much," Oz whimpered. "Never."

Gil couldn't believe what he was hearing, did this mean…Oz still wanted to stay with him? Even while knowing what a tainted individual he was?

Gil gently pulled Oz into his apartment, this was not something he wanted others to see, shutting the door once inside.

"But Oz, I'm-"

"Gil is Gil! That's all that matters to me!" Oz cried.

"I…I don't deserve you." Gil said as he rested his hands on Oz's shoulders.

He felt Oz tighten his arms around his waist.

"And I don't deserve Gil, so we're even." Oz said.

Gil resisted the urge to point out how wrong he was, how he deserved someone better, but instead he simply pulled Oz away, moving his hands from the boy's small shoulders to cup his face. Leaning down, he kissed Oz softly, sweetly. The blonde responded immediately in kind, moving his lips against Gil's.

Gil pulled away after a moment, resisting the urge to continue, to go further. He just looked lovingly into Oz's eyes, unable to restrain a smile when he saw Oz returning his gaze. He caressed the boy's cheek with his thumb, his heart skipped a beat when Oz closed his eyes, grasping his wrist and held Gil's hand against his cheek.

"Gil is still Gil," Oz whispered. "Even now."

Gil reluctantly removed his hand and went to hang his coat so he could start on the cleaning.

"It's really dusty in here, has it really been that long since we were last here?" Oz said as he followed Gil.

The man resisted the urge to laugh, he removed his coat and opted to simply drape it over the arm of the sofa.

"It has and I think I waited a bit too long to come back this time." He chuckled.

Oz smiled and laughed.

"So, what do we do first?" He asked.

"You can just sit and relax, I'm not making you clean my house," Gil said. "I'm the servant after all."

Oz shook his head and sighed.

"But I want to help, so where do I start?" He said.

Gil was speechless for a moment, he never expected to have Oz do anything, he'd just expected him to be there while Gil cleaned, but then again this was Oz he was talking about.

"Well, my first priority is to get this dust off of everything, so I'm going to open the window and we can wipe the dust away, okay?" He explained.

Oz nodded and looked around for a moment.

"Um, Gil?" Gil turned to look at him. "Do you have any cloths or anything?"

He almost laughed at himself, he had forgotten that small detail.

"In the cupboard under the sink, there should be some there." He said.

He walked over and opened the window, taking a moment to take in the view of the city, remembering the nights he'd spent just staring outside while thinking of Oz.

"Found it!" Oz shouted proudly, holding two cloths above his head.

Gil smiled, it was amusing to see the fifteen year old waving the cloths back and forth, he was like a child who'd discovered a new toy.

**-XXX-**

It took them a total of three hours to completely clean away all the dust that covered the surfaces of Gil's apartment. It wasn't all work though, they had to stop several times because the dust made them sneeze and cough.

When they were done, Gil dropped on to the sofa with a groan, his back was killing him and all the dust had turned his throat to sandpaper. Oz stretched and yawned, the cleaning had used up all of his energy.

"Thank god that's done." Gil sighed.

Oz smiled and nodded, Gil guessed he was probably regretting being so eager to assist, Oz was a noble after all, he wouldn't have been accustomed to manual tasks such as cleaning. That what he had servants for after all. The boy walked over and dropped himself beside Gil, pulling his legs up; he turned to the side and lay his head on Gil's lap.

"Tired?" He said with a chuckle.

Oz looked up at him, a light blush spreading across his cheeks.

"Just a little." The boy replied, but Gil could tell he was fibbing.

"You didn't have to do any cleaning," Gil said as he stroked Oz's hair. "You know that , right?"

"I know, but I wanted to help Gil." Oz said simply.

Gil was touched, he really was. Suddenly the silence was broken by Oz's loudly growling stomach. His blush deepened and Gil couldn't help but laugh.

"Well, now we know what we need to do next," He said. "We need to get some supplies for dinner."

Oz nodded once and sat up.

"Can you cook?" Oz teased.

Gil smiled.

"I've got it covered."


	8. Chapter 8

Gil insisted that Oz stick close to him and not wander away, saying that the streets weren't safe for unattended children.

"I'm not a child, Gil." Oz argued.

Gil sighed.

"You're close enough."

Oz pretended to be annoyed, he didn't like being treated like a child, but he did understand that Gil was only looking out for him.

"Okay, fine, you're such a worrier, Gil," He joked. "If you don't relax a little, you'll keel over."

He heard Gil sigh.

"I hope you know that I worry because I care." The man said.

Oz shook his head, sometimes his servant could be such a stick in the mud, but he did know and it only made him love Gil more. He giggled and grabbed on to Gil's arm, pressing himself against his side as they walked.

The sun was already beginning to set by this point, Oz was relieved, all he wanted to do was eat and then go straight to bed; he was exhausted.

_Cleaning is hard work, and Gil's not even the slightest bit tired._

Oz envied his stamina, but he supposed it was because as a servant; Gil was used to cleaning.

"So, what do you want to eat tonight?" Gil asked him.

Oz shrugged.

"I'm not that fussy with food, anything I guess." He replied.

Gil nodded thoughtfully, as if his mind was already ticking away with ideas. They ended up getting several vegetables and a few other items, Oz suspected the end product would be some kind of stew or soup. He was looking forward to finding out if Gil could really cook or not.

"Ah, so you're back in town again, are you?" A voice suddenly said.

Both of them stopped and they turned to see a young woman walking towards them, Oz was completely clueless as to what was going on, but Gil seemed to know who she was, so the blonde felt slightly more at ease.

"It's you." Gil said to the girl as she smiled at him.

"Yes, it's not often I get to see you around here, quite the busy life you lead, isn't it?" She said with a laugh.

Oz watched this exchange, so Gil had actually made a friend these last 10 years, he couldn't imagine Gil socializing with any of these people.

"Y-yeah." Gil seemed slightly awkward talking to her.

Oz frowned, the girl kept touching Gil, putting her hand on his shoulder, poking him; Oz felt something unfamiliar burning in his gut. He didn't like it, not at all, his hand actually twitched with the desire to reach out and just injure this girl.

Suddenly the girl seemed to notice him.

"And who's this? A friend of yours?" She asked Gil.

Oz went to tell her that he was Gil's master and that she should keep her damned hands to herself but Gil got there first.

"Y-yes, he's a relative to an associate of mine; he's staying with me for a few days." Gil said quickly.

The girl smiled in such a way that it made Oz want to slap it clean off her face, she patted his cheek, he barely resisted the urge to sink his teeth into her hand.

"He's so cute, and such lovely features." She said before switching her attentions back to Gil.

The thing that irked Oz the most, was the way that Gil smiled back at her, _smiled_!

"Why don't you two come over for dinner tonight?" She said.

And again with the touching, she had her hand on Gil's arm, rubbing back and forth. That was it, that was the final straw for Oz, he was just about to set upon the girl when Gil pulled him away and started walking again.

"Sorry, it's already fairly late and I have a report that needs doing, on top of I can't have him going to bed too late," By 'him' he was referring to Oz. "Goodbye."

The girl seemed instantly deflated, waving goodbye before turning and walking the other way. Still, the burning in his stomach didn't go away, he told himself it was just hunger. Oz lowered his head, he didn't want Gil to see his face, Gil always saw too much.

"Whew, that was an unwelcome inconvenience." Gil sighed.

Oz didn't say anything.

"H-hey Oz, are you alright?" He asked.

Oz looked up and smiled, for the first time, forcing a smile was painful.

"Yeah, I'm okay," He said. "Still hungry though."

Gil laughed and ruffled his hair.

"Okay, let's get a move on then."

Oz nodded, hoping that Gil didn't see his smile was fake.

**-XXX-**

Oz watched with interest as Gil prepared the food, he truly did seem to know what he was doing. He walked away and took another look around Gil's house, the last time he'd been here, he hadn't had a chance to explore.

He peeked his head into what would have been Gil's room, for some reason, it seemed smaller than the last time, then he noticed the large double bed in the corner.

"Hey Gil, you got a new bed." He shouted.

"I had to, that stupid rabbit demolished everything in there last time." He heard Gil reply.

Oz suppressed the urge to laugh out loud, he was remembering Gil's face when he'd seen the wreckage caused by Break's unexpected visit to Alice first thing in the morning. He entered the room and looked around, it was quite obvious the Gil didn't spend a lot of time here, the room was practically bare.

He wondered how much of the 10 years that he'd been absent, that Gil had actually spent here, alone. He lay down on the bed and stared up at the ceiling, wondering how many nights Gil had done the same thing.

The only thing that showed this room had been lived in at all, was the full ashtray on the nightstand beside the bed.

"Oz, food's ready!" Gil called to him.

Oz sat up and leapt from the bed, he must have lost track of time, that had been fast. He ran up beside Gil and he had to admit, whatever the man had cooked; it smelled delicious.

"Wow Gil, that smells great!" He said.

Gil smiled and a slight blush tinged his cheeks.

"You should probably wait until you taste it before you start saying stuff like that, I-I've never cooked for anyone besides myself so-" Gil stuttered slightly, so much like his fourteen year old self.

Oz silenced him with a quick kiss on the cheek, his heart warming when Gil's blush deepened by about three shades.

"Have some faith in your own skills, Gil," Oz smiled, self-consciousness was a quality that had belonged to the Gil of his childhood, it brought a comforting feeling of nostalgia over Oz. "You've done everything else right so far, I'm sure you can cook dinner without much trouble."

Gil coughed, still embarrassed; it was good to know that Gil hadn't changed too much, when they were like this, it didn't feel so much like the lifetime between him and Gil had truly passed.

**-XXX-**

Oz didn't know what Gil had been concerned about, it turned out that Gil was quite the cook. Oz had devoured his food with surprising speed, Gil had warned him to slow down; to _chew_ his food, he had been completely ignored, of course.

"Ah, that was great!" Oz said happily as he stretched.

He heard Gil sigh in relief, he'd obviously tried to do it discreetly as possible, but Oz had heard him anyway.

"See, I told you to have some faith in yourself." Oz said as he gave Gil a light punch on the arm.

The older man blushed again and proceeded to collect the dishes, taking them to the small sink the apartment possessed. Now that his stomach was full, his previous tiredness returned, Oz yawned loudly.

"It's night now, you can sleep if you want." Gil said.

Despite his exhaustion and his prior desire to sleep, Oz was too content with Gil's company to crawl off to bed now.

"No, I'm not that tired, I can stay up." He replied.

Gil didn't seem convinced but he didn't argue either.

"So, what is there to do here…at night I mean?" Oz asked.

Gil walked back over and held out a mug for him to take, Oz hadn't even noticed Gil making drinks, maybe he should go to bed after all.

"Thanks." He said as he took it.

"Well, I'll tell you the truth; not much," Gil said as he sat down beside Oz. "When I was alone; reading, drinking or smoking were about all I could do, but don't get any ideas, the latter two I'm not letting you within ten feet of."

Oz smiled and sipped at his tea.

"Hang on, Uncle Oscar told me you weren't much of a drinker." Oz said, remembering how badly Gil had reacted to alcohol that one time after their visit to Latowidge.

Gil coughed, looking away.

"Well, uh, that is true, but it's not like I do it often, so…" He trailed off mid-sentence.

Gil hoped that his lie wouldn't be uncovered, in actuality; in the ten years that Oz had been gone, he'd often used alcohol to ensure himself a dreamless sleep, the only dreams that would ever come were nightmares. Oz yawned again and Gil saw the chance to get off this particular subject.

"See? You are tired, go to bed Oz." He said.

The boy yawned again, Gil almost laughed it his attempt to hide it.

"Only…" Oz started to say, but paused. Gil looked, waiting patiently. "Only if Gil will read to me."

Gil was taken by surprise at that, he didn't know what to do or say.

"R-read…to you…Oz, I don't think…I mean…I-" He struggled to form his words.

Oz lightly touched his arm, completely derailing Gil's train of thought.

"Please, Gil."

With that, his resolve was melted, he couldn't possibly say no. Unable to say anything still, he just nodded, Oz's face lit up and he promptly leapt up and ran into the bedroom where Gil had taken their bags. The he ran back and shoved a book into Gil's hands.

"Holy Knight? Of course." He smiled, Oz's favourite book.

Gil stood.

"You can have the bed, I'll take the sofa, come on." He said as he guided Oz back into the bedroom.

He watched as Oz sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Didn't you bring any night clothes?" He asked.

Oz shook his head and Gil sighed, scratching his head in thought.

"I guess you'll have to wear something of mine while we're here." He said as he walked over to the small set of drawers tucked away in the corner of the room.

He searched through his clothes to find something that would be suitable for Oz's use, he settled on an old shirt that he was sure would be large enough to cover most of the boy. He handed the garment to Oz, telling him to change into it while Gil waited outside.

"Call when you're ready." He said as he shut the door behind himself.

A minute passed before he heard Oz's shout of 'done'. He re-entered and stopped when he saw the boy. He had been right about the shirt, it came down mid-thigh on Oz, the sleeves extended far past his hands.

"Gil really has gotten big." Oz said as he pulled at the hem of the oversized shirt.

Gil didn't say anything as he walked over. Oz climbed into bed and looked at Gil; waiting. He sat down on the edge of the bed, opened the book and began to read.

He stopped, when he saw that Oz's eyes were closed and his breathing was slow. Leaning down, he pressed his lips against Oz's cheek.

"Goodnight." He whispered.

Standing up and walking away, he cast his eyes back to the sleeping boy, taking in every detail of the picture. Closing the door quietly, he decided he needed a cigarette before he called it a night too.

He opened the window and sat himself on the windowsill, watching the clouds slowly move across the night time sky. Lighting a cigarette; Gil thought about the events of the last few days. He didn't know how long he'd spent sitting there, but he knew it must have been sometime when he was abruptly brought back when some hot ash fell on his leg.

"Gil."

He turned his head to see Oz standing in the doorway; in the shirt that really was much too big for him.

"Oz, I thought you were asleep?" He said, standing from the windowsill.

Oz walked over and simply rested his head against Gil's chest.

"Oz?"

"I was…cold…" He said quietly. "…by myself."

"I have some extra blankets if-"

Oz shook his head, Gil was confused, he closed the window, took Oz by the shoulders and lead him back to the bed.

"I don't want Gil out there, I…I want Gil to stay with me." He said when Gil tried to persuade him back into the bed.

"But Oz-" Gil tried to protest, but Oz put a single finger to his lips.

"Doesn't Gil want to stay with me?" The boy said with a lopsided smile.

The thing that shook Gil the most was that broken smile, it was the smile of a person awaiting execution, it was the smile of a person expecting, no; waiting to be hurt.

_Oz…you…_

"I do," He said finally. "And if you really want me to, I will."

He was immediately relieved to see that haunting smile fall away to be replaced by a small smile of contentment.

"I do."

Oz obediently returned to bed, settling himself on the side closest to the wall, he looked at Gil as if to say 'coming?'. He blew out the light, suddenly glad for the darkness as he slowly got into the bed; a furious blush spreading across his cheeks.

Staring at the ceiling, his eyes adjusted quickly to the darkness of the night, Gil tried to calm the erratic beating of his heart. Suddenly Oz shifted, pressing himself against Gil's side; he rested his head on the man's shoulder, laying one arm across his chest.

"O-Oz!" Gil cried in alarm and embarrassment.

"I'll move if Gil wants me to." Oz said playfully.

He couldn't respond, even if he wanted to. His heart felt as if it would burst from his chest and all the blood had abruptly rushed to his face.

"I thought as much, so stop fussing." Oz muttered as he snuggled closer. "Goodnight Gil."

Amidst the peaceful silence, Gil wondered if he'd left the window open, he couldn't remember if he'd closed it anymore.

"Goodnight, _my precious_ Oz."

Oh well, the window could wait until tomorrow morning. Now; it was time to sleep, next to his master, next to Oz.

_Yes, sweet dreams…my love._


	9. Chapter 9

Oz opened his eyes, but had to quickly shut them against the sunlight that poured in through the bedroom window. It took a minute or two for his eyes to get used to the light, he looked over to see that Gil's side of the bed was empty. Oz buried his face in the pillow, he smiled, it smelled of Gil. Judging by the coldness of the bed, the man had been up for sometime, probably since the crack of dawn, knowing his servant. Oz sat up and stretched in an almost cat-like manner before sliding from the bed and heading for the door.

**-XXX-**

Gil sipped his coffee, waiting for Oz to get up. He had to admit, having Oz with him last night had been probably the best night of sleep he'd had in a long time, maybe even ever. When he'd awoken that morning, Oz had still been tucked against his side, sleeping peacefully. It had been almost impossible to tear himself away.

Suddenly he heard the door and he turned to see Oz standing in the doorway, rubbing his eye. His small frame lost beneath the adult sized shirt, his hair was messed and sticking up in places and on his face he wore a still half asleep expression, but to Gil he was absolutely perfect.

"Good morning." Gil said with a smile.

"Morning." Oz mumbled, obviously still sleepy.

He walked over and sat down beside Gil, who set his cup down on the table. Oz yawned loudly before resting his head against Gil's shoulder.

"How did you sleep?" He asked.

"Better than I've slept in a long time," Oz replied. "What about Gil?"

Gil smiled, he'd just been thinking about that, he slid his arm around Oz's shoulders.

"I'm the same." He said simply.

Oz started giggling.

'It's lucky that Gil got a new, bigger bed when he did, or we might've run into a bit of trouble last night."

Gil shook his head, amused.

"I suppose you're right." He said.

Oz turned his head to look up at Gil, a mischievous glint in his eye.

"What are you thinking Oz?" He asked cautiously.

The boy smiled slyly, he was planning something. He moved and stood, turning around to face Gil.

"Nothing." Oz said, leaning down until his face was inches from Gil's.

Gil shifted under Oz's gaze, his heart began to race at their proximity. The blonde leaned in closer, but moved so that his face was nestled against the man's collarbone, his hands rested on Gil's knees for support.

"Gil seems a little uncomfortable." Oz whispered, his lips brushing against Gil's skin.

Gil couldn't respond, how was it that Oz had so much control over him? How was it that with a single brush of contact he could strip him of every single defense he'd built up over ten years?

"I think…I know how to make Gil feel better," Oz removed his hands from their position on Gil's knees, placing them on his shoulders instead. "Would Gil like me to do that?"

"O-Oz…" Was all he could manage to say.

Oz slid on to Gil's lap, his knees on either side of Gil's legs; straddling the raven-haired man.

"I'll take that…as a yes."

Oz pressed his lips against Gil's, softly at first, but then he pressed harder into the kiss, earning a soft moan from the man beneath him. This only served to encourage Oz, he loved the knowledge that he could illicit those kinds of sounds from his servant, it was like music to his ears. Gil rested his hands on Oz's waist, squeezing lightly. Oz nipped at the man's bottom lip, requesting entrance; not that he would settle for anything less.

Gil submissively obliged, he almost felt like his 14 year old self again, with little more than a touch of his lips; Oz had hurled him back in time. All conscious thoughts were abandoned once he felt his master's tongue caressing his own. Spurred by some deeper part of himself, Gil moved his mouth against Oz's, pressing back with equal force.

The suddenness of Gil's actions surprised Oz, where had this come from? Oz broke the kiss, but kept his mouth suspended just above his servant's; both were breathing heavily.

"I think…Gil is feeling better now," Oz teased. "Right?"

"M-master." Was all he could reply with.

Oz chuckled, he maintained a slight pressure on Gil's shoulders, keeping the man from moving forward, preventing him from continuing the kiss.

"But I think there's still more to be done." Oz said in a playfully thoughtful tone.

Suddenly Gil's arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him back in, Oz was about to pretend lecture him on how a servant was only supposed to act when their master said so, but he promptly forgot everything when Gil's lips brushed on his neck. He couldn't hold back a pleasurable sigh when Gil began trailing kisses up and down his neck.

_Oh god, where did Gil learn to do this?!_

Oz automatically turned his head to give the man more access to the rest of his skin, moving his hands from Gil's shoulders to clutch at the front of his shirt, pulling himself more firmly against his servant.

Gil ran his tongue slowly over the pale milkiness of Oz's neck, savouring the sweet taste of his master's skin, driven on by the soft satisfied moans and sighs that the boy released.

_Mine…_

That single thought was so strong in his mind. Oz was his and vice versa, no one; not even that stupid rabbit, would ever take his precious master from him, he wouldn't let them.

Oz trembled with the intensity of the feelings that Gil was provoking all over his body, he moaned again when he felt Gil's lips against his jaw.

He was the master, wasn't he? _He _shouldn't be the one making these…these sounds, but he just couldn't control himself, everything just felt so…oh god, was that Gil's tongue along his jaw?

"Gil…y-you…" He couldn't even string two words together in his current state.

Gil kissed over Oz's jaw and recaptured his lips, Oz completely submitted to his servant's ministrations, discarding all and any afterthought. Gil licked his lips in silent begging and Oz obligingly opened his mouth. The only even remotely coherent thought that Oz could form was that he could taste coffee on Gil's kiss. He began to feel a little light headed, but ignored it; he was much to absorbed in the current goings on.

Almost as if sensing Oz's condition, Gil broke the heated kiss, earning a small whine from the boy. Part of Oz was incredibly displeased at Gil's retreat, but another part of him was grateful for the chance to catch his breath, he rested his head on his servant's shoulder.

"I'm sorry Oz, I was too careless, are you alright?" Gil said, there was a great amount of shame in his tone.

"I…I-I'm fine," Oz panted, he felt his head beginning to clear. "I just…need…to rest a bit."

"Do you plan to change or are you quite comfortable to stay in my shirt for the rest of the day?" Gil asked playfully.

Oz blushed, realizing that he was indeed wearing nothing but his underwear and Gil's oversized shirt, he buried his face against Gil's neck in an attempt to hide his embarrassment.

"That depends." He replied teasingly.

Gil chuckled.

"On what?"

Oz lifted his head to look at the golden-eyed man, smiling devilishly before leaning his mouth close to Gil's ear.

"On whether or not we'll even be leaving the apartment today." He whispered with an undertone completely unbecoming of a fifteen year old.

Gil's breath quickened and he felt his heart slamming against his ribs.

Where and when on earth did Oz learn to talk like _that_?!

"W-well, "Gil began, attempting not to appear flustered. "I-I…d-do you want to go out and do something or would you r-rather spend a quiet day inside?"

"Again, that depends," Oz said. "It all depends…on what Gil wants to do…"

The raven-haired man was trying his best to control his impulses, but gods, it was so difficult for him not to simply take the boy then and there.

"…with me." Oz breathed as he slowly slid his arms around Gil's neck.

With those last two words, any hope he had of maintaining control was quickly slipping away, he pressed his face into Oz's collarbone, he began trailing light kisses up and down the boy's neck.

"Oz…" Gil was practically panting now. "P-push me away or I…"

Oz was slightly taken aback but then he smiled.

"What if I don't want to?" He said, half playful-half serious.

"Oz." His voice was almost pleading.

Oz was not as naïve as most people might think, ever since that day his father had rejected his existence; he'd been forced to see everything, his age had meant nothing from then on. Perhaps it was the nonchalance with which he accepted the good, the bad and especially the ugly of this world that unnerved others, but he'd never had a choice, reality had been practically dropped into his lap.

Gil was a lot like himself, his entire life had been seemingly erased from his memory and he'd been thrust into the middle of the affairs of the four noble houses. And then after five years of stability as a servant, Oz had been thrown into the Abyss and Gil had been quickly snatched up by the Nightray family. He'd been forced to kill, to steep himself ankle deep in blood before he was even fully grown.

And he'd done it all for Oz.

Ten years of his life, Gil had given ten years, all for Oz. And now, Oz wanted to give something back, something that he knew, he wanted as well.

"Gil, I want…w-we can…want to…" Everything was so clear in his mind, but trying to voice his thoughts seemed impossible.

He felt Gil go rigid and he instinctually thought he'd done something wrong, had he said the wrong thing? Had he crossed the line by asking this of Gil? It was what he wanted, but maybe it wasn't what Gil wanted.

"Do you really want that, Oz?" The man's voice was so quiet, so cautious.

_Do I really want that?_

"Yes."


	10. Chapter 10

Hellu my dear readers. I just wanted to say that 1: I am so grateful to all of you for your wonderful reviews, they were what motivated me to get this chapter done and 2: I am so sorry that it took this long. I hope you find it worth the wait even with my horrible writing skills.

P.S. I do have an idea of where I want WFTS to go, but seeing as it is getting pretty long, I might split it into two parts and write the rest as a sequel somewhere along the line, but anyways, this is just my own musings xD

Enjoy :3

* * *

Gil didn't dare believe what he was hearing, he hadn't expected everything to move so fast, what shocked him the most was that Oz was the one to voice it. Did the blonde even know what he was agreeing to?

Gil was 24 and Oz was only 15, the depth of their knowledge was probably worlds apart, was what they wanted even the same?

His chest swelled with insecurity, he couldn't risk doing the wrong thing, he couldn't lose Oz now. If he misinterpreted _this_, he didn't even want to think of what the aftermath would be like.

Gil's obvious hesitation sent a stab of fear through the boy, he'd done it; he'd said the wrong thing. He'd stupidly thought to assume what Gil wanted was the same as he wanted, he'd been selfish to think that Gil would want that just because he did.

"Oz…I-I…are you really…ready f-for…_that_?" Gil sounded afraid.

Oz realised that Gil must have been feeling the same way he did; unsure if they both wanted the same thing, he could've cried at the relief that washed over him.

"Y-yeah." Oz said, the slightest of quivers in his voice, he just hoped that Gil wouldn't notice.

With that, Gil lifted Oz into his arms as he stood. Oz allowed himself to be carried, not believing for a second that he would have been able to muster to strength to stand on his own; his entire body felt like jelly and his stomach felt as though someone had let loose a cage of butterflies inside him. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply, trying to squash his nerves as much as possible.

_I wanted this, I've…no…we've come too far to-_

His thoughts slowed down and stopped when Gil kissed him, softly, almost shyly. He responded in kind, making no attempts to take control, just slowly moving his mouth against Gil's; losing himself in the pleasant sensations he was experiencing.

Gil walked slowly, it was complete and utter turmoil inside of him. He couldn't form even a single coherent thought, he was barely in touch with what he was doing now. All he could see, hear and feel was Oz; all he knew at that time was the boy in his arms. His feet took them to the bedroom; where he gently lowered Oz on to the bed.

Oz's heart skipped a beat when he felt Gil climb on the bed on top of him, he could tell without opening his eyes that Gil's knees were on either side of his legs and it was his hands on either side of Oz's head. He opened his eyes to gaze up at the man currently hovering above him. Lying there beneath him, Oz noticed how truly _different _Gil's body had become during the course of his absence. Physically; he was nothing like the skinny, awkward and clumsy 14 year-old that Oz had left behind that fateful night.

The thoughts of how much time he'd lost, how much he'd missed; while he'd been in the Abyss returned.

What would Gil say when he saw…_him_? Would he be repelled by the underdevelopment and immaturity of Oz's 15 year old body? Could he - in any way - compare to Gil's previous partners? That sent a jolt of pain through Oz's heart, he just had to look at Gil - the perfectly formed cheekbones, those sharp but bewitching golden eyes, his soft and oh-so-inviting lips - to know that the raven haired man had probably had numerous women throwing themselves at him. Ten years was a long time, what were the chances that Gil had refused each and every one of those girls?

Virtually nil.

How Oz wanted to believe that his servant had remained untouched to this day, he truly did, but he knew better than to hope for something so ridiculously selfish. It really did bother him that another person had had _their_ hands on Gil's body, someone else had had _their_ lips on Gil's, _someone else_ - and not Oz - had been Gil's first.

_But it's not like they meant anything to Gil, right?_

Oz felt horrible for that thought, he was actually hoping that Gil had simply used those people for his own physical needs, but Gil wasn't that kind of person, was he?

"Oz?" Gil's voice brought him back.

He looked into Gil's eyes and regretted it, Gil always saw too much.

"Are you…having second thoughts?"

Oz's eyes widened a fraction, no, he really did want this, he was just over thinking as he always did, he shook his head.

"No, I'm just…" Oz couldn't even find the words to say what he was thinking, but he had unleashed a whole new breed of insecurity and he needed an answer if they were to continue. "Gil?"

The man's golden eyes became concerned and fearful, Oz had known he would end up spoiling everything, he hated himself at that moment.

"Ten years…is a long time, I understand that," He had to pause, his heart was breaking. "But…Gil has…been with others, right?"

Oz felt Gil stiffen, he knew it, Gil had-

"N-no."

Oz almost hadn't heard him, he locked his gaze with Gil's and searched for any trace of a lie, for any trace that Gil was simply denying everything to spare Oz's feelings.

"I haven't…I've never been with anyone else." There was only a slight waver in his tone, but the resolve in his eyes couldn't be denied.

Oz was overwhelmed at the torrent of different emotions he was experiencing. He was determined not to cry, he'd done enough of that and he hardly thought that this was the time for tears, whether they be of happiness or otherwise. He reached up and tightly grasped the fabric of Gil's shirt.

"That…that's so hard for me to believe, Gil." He half-laughed, feeling his eyes growing hot.

Gil seemed hurt by this, obviously not realizing that Oz was joking.

"I wouldn't lie, not to you Oz." He said, his voice quiet but completely serious now.

Oz stopped and realized that Gil had taken him seriously, he believed that Oz really doubted him. Oz dropped his hands and smiled, shaking his head slowly.

"If you thought the truth would hurt me, you would." Oz hadn't meant to say that out loud, he'd only meant to think it to himself.

He saw the man above him flinch slightly at his words and immediately felt guilty. That aspect of Gil was not something to be made fun of, he only ever did what he thought was best for Oz; what would cause him the least amount of pain or upset and the way he'd just said it made it seem like a betrayal. Oz pushed himself up on one elbow, raising the other arm to wrap around Gil's neck; pulling the man down to press their lips together. He dropped on to his back again, forcing Gil down on top of him. Oz had to admit, he liked the feel of Gil's weight on top of him, closing his eyes; he pressed harder into the kiss.

Gil was carefully watching out for any sign that his body weight was too much for Oz to handle, but the boy seemed perfectly fine; he certainly hadn't missed a beat with his kiss; lips still firmly locked against Gil's own. Gil leaned on one arm, slipping the other around to Oz's back, fingers tracing lines up and down his skin through the thin cotton shirt he wore.

Gil's light caresses sent pleasant shivers throughout Oz's body, he'd never experienced anything like this before and in all it's foreignness, he never wanted it to end. Moving his arms from around Gil's neck, he began to undo the buttons of the man's shirt, slightly frustrated that it was taking more effort than he'd first thought. With the last button undone, he hesitated slightly before pressing his hands against his servant's chest.

_Warm…_

He was fascinated by how warm his skin was beneath his hands, he could feel Gil's heart beating against his palm. He could also feel the line of the scar that he himself had inflicted, that all too familiar stab of guilt penetrated his heart. Breaking the kiss, Oz looked straight into those golden eyes that he loved so much.

He realized that he'd never truly apologized for what he'd done to Gil, he knew that Gil didn't blame him for what had happened, he didn't even need to, Oz blamed himself enough for the both of them.

"Gil, I-" He tried to apologise but he was cut off when Gil kissed him again.

But only briefly.

Pulling away, Gil shook his head, smiling gently.

"There's nothing to apologise for Oz, it wasn't your fault."

Oz went to protest, but the man put a finger to his lips. He couldn't believe just how easily he had been forgiven. No, that wasn't right. As far as Gil was concerned, he'd done nothing that needed forgiving, he'd never held a grudge even after 10 years.

_Gil…I really don't deserve you._

Gil couldn't believe that Oz was still blaming himself over what had happened at the coming-of-age ceremony. How could he make him see that he didn't need to? How could he make Oz understand that all he wanted was for him to be happy?

"Gil…" Oz's utterance of his name slightly obscured by Gil's finger still pressed to his lips.

"Oz…I want you to promise me you'll stop this nonsense." He said, his voice soft but serious.

He moved his hand to brush away a loose lock of Oz's hair, but his gaze remained unwavering in its intensity and its sincerity.

_But…but it was…all my fau-_

"Promise me," He said, his voice slightly quieter than before. "Please…Oz."

Oz's resolve crumbled. He would finally let it go, but not because he had forgiven himself, but because Gil had forgiven him.

"I…promise."

Gil smiled then. It was a true smile, and it was completely and utterly for him. It took Oz's breath away. Gil lowered his head to nuzzle Oz's collarbone, the man's hot breath sending shivers throughout his body. Oz wrapped his arms around Gil's shoulders as he began to unbutton the blonde's oversized shirt.

Oz sucked in his breath as the cool night air washed over his bare skin, without his shirt, he felt incredibly exposed already, but he didn't care…because it was Gil. Suddenly he felt the man go rigid above him, Oz froze as well, fearing he'd done something wrong. He followed Gil's gaze and found the source of the interruption was the seal that marked him as an illegal contractor. The revolution was almost half completed. He could almost guarantee that their thoughts were exactly the same: how much time did he have left?

A wave of bitterness stabbed at his heart as he thought to himself: they'd been mere moments from rescuing him from Abyss when he'd made the contract with Alice, he'd resigned himself to an early demise for what exactly? A temporary freedom to gather as many of Alice's memories as possible before that darkness reclaimed them, and what of Alice's memories in the first place? What if they failed? What if they weren't able to gather all of her memory fragments before the clock ran out? Everything would be for naught! If he'd never contracted with Alice, he could've been rescued by Break, Gil and Sharon, picked up the pieces of his shattered life as best he could and spent the rest of his life with the people he loved, more specifically; the person he loved.

_No!_

How could he think like that? Was he really that selfish? He couldn't imagine his life now without Alice. She was like the sun, something that without it, the day could not begin. She'd saved his life, barely knowing who he was and merely for her own personal reasons, but even still he owed her a debt.

However the same could be said for Gil. No matter how deep Oz would be immersed in his own pit of sorrows, the man had always had a way to lift him out of it. He understood Oz on a level he barely understood himself, very rarely could he hide anything from his servant. Sometimes he hated it and other times, he was never more grateful for Gil's ability to know what was bothering him without him having to say it out loud, some things were too painful to say but he still wished to be comforted from them. Even when they'd both been children, the boy had only ever had Oz's best interests at heart, he'd always gone above and beyond the call of duty as a servant. And perhaps the biggest of all, his entrance into the Nightray family and subsequent contracting of Raven. He'd given up so much for Oz without ever asking for anything in return. For a moment, Oz pondered whether or not Gil's contract with Raven had stopped his aging; like Break and Sharon.

Oz was brought back from his reverie by the touch of Gil's fingers against his flesh, gently brushing the surface of his contractor's seal.

"Does it hurt?" The man asked, his voice low and sounded somewhat strained.

Oz frowned, he was unable to see Gil's eyes.

"No, it doesn't hurt." He answered softly, hoping to ease some of the tension that had descended in the room.

"But it does when the dial moves, doesn't it?" He said harshly.

Oz flinched at his tone, he tried to open his mouth to reply, but no sound would come. He wanted to lie, he wanted to say he barely noticed. The truth: it was the worst possible pain imaginable, it felt as if he was being gutted from the inside out, for a few short seconds he'd wished for death to descend and free him from the agony. Suddenly Gil's hands slapped down on the bed on either side of his head, his body shaking with some restrained emotion. Oz was scared now, he couldn't tell what Gil was thinking at all, he was still hiding his eyes. He knew that he was in no physical danger, Gil would never hurt him he told himself, but this was delicate territory. The past always was.

"I…hate her so much!" Gil said through gritted teeth.

His fists clenched in the sheet so tightly that his knuckles turned white.

"Who?" Oz asked, keeping his voice low and cautious.

"That…that…that damned chain!" Those words could not have contained more loathing.

Ah, so it seemed fate had decided now was the time this issue would finally be addressed.

"I see, you mean Alice. Why do you hate her, Gilbert?"

"She's killing you and you are the only one who seems hell-bent on ignoring it! You're sacrificing everything for that stupid rabbit and for what? Have you even thought about this at all? What about Ada? Oscar? To lose you again would kill them."

Oz gritted his teeth as it all hit home, he'd thought about it and he hadn't, he didn't want to.

"I know that."

Gil audibly growled, finally looking up to meet Oz's eye. So much pain and anguish was reflected in those golden eyes, it shocked Oz into silence, he'd never seen Gil so upset before.

"Then tell me why? Why are you so eager to throw your life away for such a meaningless, impossible quest? I just…can't understand it!" His voice was a mix of anger and desperation.

Oz reacted defensively, he had no explanation to offer and that itself stirred within him a bitter anger.

"Why do you care so much? We both know I'm not worth it." He said coldly.

Gilbert seemed taken aback by Oz's response, surprise was quickly replaced by hurt.

"Because I love you!"

It is said that anger blows out the lamp of the mind, which is precisely why those words didn't completely register in his mind until after he'd already spoken.

"Do you? Then why are you being so cruel to me? Is it your intention to hurt me so I'll tell you what you want to hear?" As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Oz tasted the poison on his tongue and was horrified to realize what he'd just said.

Gil moved off the bed and walked to the door, stopping in the doorway momentarily as he cast an eye back at Oz.

"We'll go back as soon as you're up in the morning. 'Night." His voice was a flat monotone.

Without another word, Gil slammed the door behind him, leaving Oz in the dark.

_"Because I love you!"_

_Gil…I…I…_

Oz squeezed his eyes shut, pulling the blanket over his head, his chest heaved with the effort it took to stifle the sobs that wracked his body as he slipped into a fretful sleep.

Gil stood with his back against the bedroom door as he listened to the quiet sobs that came from within. Sinking to the floor, he rested his head in his hands and silently wept.


End file.
